Treat yourselves to a nice dinner out at a fancy place when one of you gets a Groupon for it. Order dishes made for two and laugh when the waiter…

Do I want to be one of those people who’s an “expert” on Marcel Proust and can wax nostalgic about trudging through all 4,211 pages of his greatest series?

If only you weren’t wearing gloves, then it would better because touching is better than most things.

I have had several sexual partners in my life, but I won’t tell you how many, because it doesn’t matter.

Everyone hates you and your stupid relationship. Everyone secretly makes fun of your constant back-and-forth of “love u baby” on your respective timelines. Everyone is going to quietly rejoice when…

You are closed off. So closed off and sometimes it feels good to be the only one who can disappoint you, doesn’t it? By never relinquishing your power, you are…

If someone suddenly and magically disappears into thin air right when you need them most, that person is fake.

The irony of the icebreaker is that I learned absolutely nothing about anyone, because I was too busy freaking the hell out.

It’s important that I never forget you, although I have a feeling that it’s not entirely up to me. Time dictates what gets remembered and what gets left behind. I’m…

They will fight you, kicking and screaming, and still not realize they are in trouble.

Festivus was actually not created by George’s father, Frank Costanza. The fake holiday was created well before the series was even conceived in 1966 by an editor of Reader’s Digest…

I think the idea here is that, even if you’re having sex (of which you should not be having too much, because God forbid you break your vagina and lose…

he is a ‘long struggling poet’ with ‘extreme reverance for art’ and is thus pretty socially isolated and critical towards me in sort of obvious ways

You constantly feel pangs of envy when looking at people’s Instagrams and Twitter feeds. Is everyone in the world having more fun than you are? Answer: No, they’re just better…

For those of us who indulged in the show’s feel-good-moments that always culminated in a corny emotional scene, full of sappy music and valuable life lessons, we wonder.

The phone numbers of people you should never have the option to contact again if and when temptation strikes, social media connections with the people you feel you have to…

We’re masochists. We doll ourselves up every night for a city that’s just going to end up giving us a black eye anyway. It’s our glamorous version of a bad…

When you’re dating a narcissist you forever feel like you’re the one going after them. If it doesn’t work out with you, WHATEVER, because the narcissist will just easily coast…

In Inglorious Basterds, Sherlock Holmes is referred to at least two times.

She may’ve first became relevant through sex but as soon as Kim Kardashian got her foot in the door, she switched the narrative on us. All of a sudden, we…

It’s not that you’re sad. In fact, you’re happier than you’ve been in recent memory. You’re just not interested in doing things socially just for the sake of doing them.

As Season 3 of Downton Abbey gets underway, let’s take a look back at what happened during the first two seasons. I’m Laura Linney, and this… is a Chas Gillespie…

Being on a first date is like holding in a giant fart for four hours, the fart being your REA L personality, your REAL desires, your vices, your flaws. The…

4. If a person you’re friends with or dating treats you bad, that’s not likely to change. Ever.

Includes Paul Rudd in an Amnesty International t-shirt drinking OJ out of the carton while Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees” plays in the background.

Getting semi-threatening messages from OKCupid.

She often kept out of the public eye, especially when partying, so Buffy “wouldn’t be seen with a drink in her hand.”

Besides, the only way you can ensure having a good future is by living a good present. That’s it. That’s the secret. So start paying attention to what’s going on…

Love is bigger than you. To love someone is for their happiness to be the same as your own.

Whether you’re one of the Nice Guys who take pictures of themselves wearing a fedora and complaining about how shallow women are with no irony, or you’re a walking Taylor…

3. You discover ALL of the possible spelling variations of your name – even the ones those make absolutely no sense.

I was meek, desperate, gargling on my own blood.

Don’t stay home alone, Xanax and a full Netflix queue your only New Year’s Eve companions.

It’s so easy to say, “You should breakup with him/her and move on.” But to follow that advice – to be emotionally invested in something and snip that cord is…

Others were Infinite Jest-style burdens. Heavy on your back or in your purse. Weighing you down all the time.

Muppets + Christmas = Greatness.

You know the person you’re with is just not good enough for you but somehow that makes you feel powerful instead of shitty.

Do you like Seth Rogen? You’re welcome to see The Guilt Trip with me! All hail queen Babs Streisand.

I accepted as an undisputed truth that I was a person who failed at relationships. Then, someone came along who I actually wanted to make an effort toward and suddenly…

The searching is perhaps the worst part, the breathless moments before the floor falls out from underneath you.

9. However That 15-Year-Old, Masquerading As A Relationship Expert On Yahoo! Answers Advised You To Act

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a relationship.

Taylor Swift can date everyone in Hollywood including Dame Judy Dench and I’d still find this topic boring.

If you have ever accidentally entered a club on 18 and over night, you know what it means to feel simultaneously incredibly out-of-place and bitter at the universe for having…

You still don’t understand how LMFAO or Skrillex qualify as music. It just sounds like dying.

It’s not like you have to move in with ‘em or make friendship bracelets, just send a text or Facebook message smoothing things over.

Is it possible to have friends who are purely for the Internet, and others you get to interact with out in actual society?

I know people in my actual life who, at the ripe old age of 24, say to me in all seriousness that they can “no longer” fulfill their dream of…

Giggle alert: the infamous sex scene between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman transpires at the 69-minute mark.

Naked parties, naked runs, and other acts of synchronized stripping in the middle of campus. Usually occurs during finals week.