I Need You To Ask Me How My Day Is


I suppose I’m a “hopeless romantic”, which is funny because I never understood what’s so hopeless about it. I wouldn’t be as affectionate if I knew hope isn’t there to begin with.

Recently re-emerging into the dating scene, I had to reevaluate what I was looking for in guys. Is it how he dresses this time? How are his views on Sriracha? Does he need to be out to his parents? Ultimately leading to a series of deeper reflections of my supposedly “stronger character” (or at least that’s what I’m led to believe after break-ups), I started to feel a bit insecure about how I approached new dating situations.

I over-analyze. I get it, but isn’t this better than under-analyzing? I’d much rather talk to someone who thinks too much about me than not enough. That tells me that they care, and I like being cared for.

I thoroughly enjoy showing my affection. As most romantics, the amount of effort in wooing someone is directly proportional to how much you like them or want to be them. It’s not rocket science. The more you care for someone, the more you’ll try to ensure that they know. He/she would never need to ask themselves, “Omg, does he really like me? Or is this just some convoluted attempt to try to get in my pants?”

After being through a few relationships and long-term dating flings, I’ve grown tired of feeling like I give disproportionately more than I receive. Maybe it’s because I naturally draw guys that don’t understand the value of reciprocity.

Well, I’m over it. I need some lovin’ too.

I need him to be the one who initiates conversations with me. I need him to be the one that texts me first for once, or calls me to talk about whatever, whenever, and for no good reason. I need him to be the one that pays the dinner bill from time to time without expecting anything back. I need him to think of the places to go, to eat, and the movie to watch for once.

I need him to surprise me with cute gifts on a random day because gifts are gifts. I need him to stop feeling like he’s needy.

I need him to decide where the relationship is headed because it’s exhausting to lead all the time. I need him to tell me what he wants because I refuse to have it always be my way. Sometimes I want it to be his, too.

I need him to tell me how his day is no matter how mundane. I need him to pry into my life because it matters to me that he asks. I need him to stop waiting on me when he wants me to talk to him about something. He asks because he knows I’d appreciate it. It shows me that he’s interested in me as a person and not as someone he just wants to sleep with.

And if that were the case, then just be straight to the point and ask, because the worst that would happen is that I say no.

I need him to make me feel as good as I make him feel, because with me, he’d always know.

I need him to ask me how my day is. TC Mark

Emmanuel is moving to New York City. He likes to think, write, and design. Follow him @emmanuelcoloma.

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