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Christmas family gathering, 2009. Walked into the supposedly empty downstairs living room in my great-grandmother’s house in search of my sweater. I found my two cousins having quiet sex. It was dark, I didn’t turn the light on, as I had seen my sweater from the open door. I walked into the room, not turning my head in their direction, grabbed my sweater, and walked out. They came upstairs again at dinner time. To this day, this probably think that I didn’t notice.
Very drunk girl takes her shirt off and starts showing everyone her boobs even though she was just drunkenly ranting about her boyfriend who is in the army. Her friends then take her and put her in a room in hopes that she wont embarrass herself anymore. She came back down an hour later with no pants on and began finger blasting herself on the kitchen floor. I found out later that she didnt even have a boyfriend so its just a mess of confusing
3 Freshman girls went into our 1 bathroom crying. They came out after they all shaved their heads with my roommates pube trimmers. it was certainly crazier than usual.
A friend of mine used to bite the tops off of beer cans as a party trick. One night he got so drunk he placed it wrong and ripped out his entire tooth root and all. There was blood everywhere, but he didn’t feel anything until the next day.
I once was at a party that broke down into a stealing frenzy. The host must have passed out or something…
Favourite moment: Some guy raids the host’s freezer and pulls out a full frozen chicken, runs out the door into the rain… 5 seconds later runs back into the house only to steal an umbrella before leaving again.
A half-blacked out guy getting furiously jacked off by a naked girl in the kitchen, using what looked like shampoo as lube. The dude was covered in cocoa puffs. There were suds everywhere.
Girl passed out in a mini dress who shit herself. The dress had ridden up so all you saw was a bare ass crack filled with the unspeakable
Once, i walked out of the bathroom at a party. To my right, outside the glass screen door, i see a girl who looks like she has just thrown up and is now sitting and crying in a ball. I then look to my left and i see that on the couch is her boyfriend getting a hand job from one of our gay friends.
Carried a drunk friend on his 18th to his bed, his mum started to pull his pants off cos they had spew on them and he yelled
“suck me beautiful”
It was a Halloween party. A girl dressed in a 80s prom dress dry humping a shirtless guy in leather pants. She ends up barfing in his face, into his wide open mouth. I unfortunately watched the whole thing happen…
A very drunk girl went around pretending she was about to make out with various guys, but instead she would lean in and at the last minute take a bite of their faces, then giggle and run away. She would do it HARD…multiple guys had deep bite marks and one was bleeding.
This probably isn’t what you were looking for, but man, I went to this birthday party in 3rd grade. The kid’s parents organized these games that we would all play. We had all sorts of stations, like soccer, basketball, football toss through a tire, etc. Before we started, they said that the birthday boy needed to change into his costume. Ok.
Well, while the kid went inside with his dad, the mom told the rest of us to make sure we let him win at all the games since it was his birthday. Uh, ok, lady, like we’re going to let that happen.
I mean, we tried at first, but we’re competitive little kids. We tried to let him score the most points, whatever. But then came the football toss. We each got 10 throws, whoever gets the most through wins. Since he was the birthday boy, he got to choose when to throw and he chose to go last. Ok. Well, we start throwing the ball through the tire and at this point, we weren’t thinking we had to let him win since it wasn’t everyone going at once.
Some guy ended up throwing it through the tire 9 times out of 10. Peyton Manning here. Then birthday boy goes up. He missed his first two so he was mathematically eliminated. I guess he didn’t realize it, but his parents told him that those were just warm up.
He finally makes one so they restart the counter. But the guy can’t throw well. They tell him he can move up, but at this point we were counting for him like future auditors and the final tally was 4. He made 4 out of 10. He knew he didn’t win. He pouted. He screamed at the kid who won (but really, all of us beat his score except so why he chose to yell at Peyton Manning, I don’t know). He kicked him and then ran into the house.
Then his parents called Peyton Manning’s parents and told them to pick him up even though the party was scheduled to go on for one more hour.
this one guy on the college football team was like “face down ass up?” to this random girl. SHe immediately said “YES” and she fucked him face down ass up in the middle of a large crowd of people
A 19 year old mother brought her one year old son to a party with her. I proceeded to watch her get trashed, play beer pong, and smoke weed without a care in the world. I was watching the baby more than her because I was so afraid something would happen to it.
Man I was at a wedding in mexico and I walk into the bathroom to see two guys at the only two urnals only to watch a 3rd player enter and begin pissing in player 2s urnal. Dude turns around and accidentally pisses on 3rd player. 1st player bewildered and realized everyone is peeing on eachother pukes. all three men are peeing and puking on eachother. they clean up and bit laugh and go right back outside and hit on girls.
[TRIGGER WARNING] A girl as hot as a super model came to a house party of mine in high school and left after a couple of hours. I don’t know why she left. But she came back with my friend, both covered in blood. They had gone back to her place, where she went into the bathroom by herself and sliced her arm up and down with a blade, screaming. My friend ran inside and stopped her, saving her life, I would imagine. To this day, I don’t know why the fuck he brought her back to my house and freaked everybody out like that. Not cool
edit: trigger warning, as requested, to save lives
Someone putting mustard on pizza.
I go to very mild parties.
When I was in Grade 10, a girl had a train run on her by probably half the dudes at the party, she was encouraging every dude in the room to fuck her.
For the rest of her highschool career her nickname was “garbage cunt.” I think she regretted that night
Oh, I got one for the record books…….
My friend used to drink way too much. Well one Friday night started just like any other, a few beers, followed a few shots, followed by him smashing a handle of shit vodka. As the night progressed so did his Cocaine use. At one point during this wonderful evening, my friend decides he needs to set up a spot light (one of those halogen auto lights you find in the garage) in the middle of his front yard. Once set up and on he runs back in the house, strips off his clothes, grabs the vacuum cleaner from the living room and stumbles back out the door in his birthday suit. We follow him outside, he plugs the vaccum cleaner and vacuums his front front yard naked, at 3am. 3am in a residential suburbia. A half hour later he discovers he’s too cold for this and goes back inside.
Another time he took the trash bag out of the trash can full (of course) turned all four burners on the stove on and threw the bag of trash on it.
Both these incidents happend at his house. Tl;dr my friend was out of control.
Had a Halloween party at my friend’s house this year. My friend’s roommate (at the time) poisoned my friend’s dog with fake ice. The dog is mostly okay now, but just a little mentally unstable. The now ex-roommate got kicked out and has a court date.
Saw two drunk revelers pass out while partying. The girl was grinding on the chap and somehow, the wrong foot got placed in the wrong square. The shaky London fuck bridge came tumbling down and both of them got knocked out cold. Their connection was so strong that the fella shat himself on impact while the North tower female pissed herself as she crumbled to the floor. She then proceeded to belch out one final spray of vomit in her fella’s direction as they both laid side by side like a very chavvy romeo and Juliet. No one attended to them. They’re still together.
I walked into Co-Op Steve’s bedroom and saw a girl dressed as Pikachu, and another dressed as a Lobster, scissoring on his bed. When lesbians try to tell me that nobody scissors, I just tell them the story of the Lobster and the Pikachu.
At my graduation party maybe 200, 300 people came to my house. The first guy to pass out got it pretty bad. He was completely duct taped to a futon from head to toe leaving only his eyes to mouth not taped. Before that, random shit was super glued to his face and body, mostly Fritos. Other random shit was done to him, permanent marker etc…
He woke up and couldn’t move and was screaming. His buddies were leaving him there, but decided to take him, they cut the duct tape but left it on him. They then made him ride home in the trunk for being a bitch.
High school was brutal.
Oh god, I’d repressed this one.
Visited my friends in Arizona for the first time in years. Went to an impromptu party. Party host’s 40 something year old married mother started hitting on one of my friends. He was pretty nonchalant about it until she pissed herself right there. He decided to get away before things got ugly, and she let out what had to be the most memorable line I’ve ever heard a woman say.
“It’s okay, I’m a MILF, I can do whatever I want.”
I attended a college friend’s wedding who had moved to Fayetteville, Arkansas. I had a great time over the extended weekend, but it was the first and only time I have ever seen a bride (in her gown) do a keg-stand only for that to be followed up by the bride’s grandmother. Granny made it past a ten-count!
At my 20th birthday party a guy puked in the jungle juice, but we didn’t find out until the next day. All night everybody was drinking it and eating the “fruit” at the bottom.