After Kevin McCallister used that thing to get a room at the Plaza Hotel on Home Alone 2, there wasn’t a kid in America that didn’t have to own one.
One time my cousin tried to cheat and tape two of his slammers together to make a super slammer. We caught him and made him give us all of his pogs.
I was terrible about washing my dishes and taking out the trash, but I looked after my Tamagotchi like it was a newborn child.
This was a great present if you wanted your child to be frustrated and feel inferior for the next six months.
A kid down the street from me claimed to have the Super Soaker Monster XXL, which didn’t even exist. He said his dad got a prototype. His dad was a manager at Bob Evans. Everyone knew he was lying.
I don’t think I gained the ability to jump higher and much as I cut off the circulation in my feet from overinflating my shoes.
My grandma got me a Walkman with an MC Hammer tape and a Troy Aikman jersey one year for Christmas. It was awesome.
Lisa Frank Backpack
Lisa Frank was the Banksy of middle school fashion. I have no idea how her stuff isn’t still popular.
I was never allowed to buy a Furby because my grandma claimed it was speaking in demonic spells. I’m still not sure if she was right or not.
If you covered up your chest sensor when playing lazer tag, you were a monster and probably didn’t succeed in life. That may be a little harsh, but you’re a dirty cheater.
The amount of cool that you were is in direct correlation with the number of speeds on your bike.
Did I catch them all? I don’t mean to brag, but yes. I’ll give all the ladies a moment to get in line to date me.
Skip-It was a great way to get some exercise, learn to follow instructions, and break at least one of your arms.
I used to take the regular Teddy Ruxpin tape out and, instead, put in Wham!’s album. I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Super Mario Bros 3
When we saw Fred Savage playing Super Mario Bros 3 in The Wizard, my Christmas list basically wrote itself.
How many people put a pile of Beanie Babies in their basement and thought, “One day I’ll sell all of these and retire”?
MTV Party to Go CD
I borrowed my friend Beverly’s MTV Party to Go CD because I really like Montell Jordan, but I lost it when I went camping. I hope she forgave me for that.
Care Bears popped up over thirty years ago and I have no doubts they’ll still be around thirty years from now.
Portable CD Player
Remember that Walkman you got a few years ago? Throw it in the trash because now you can carry your CDs around with you!
It was just a smaller version of a toy truck, but the faster that guy talked in their commercials, the more I had to have them all.
I paid my friend Chris to eat some Gak in 6th grade and the teacher had to call him mom to come and get him because he kept throwing up. I hope it was worth the $4, Chris.
Easy Bake Oven
There has never been a more misleading commercial than the Easy Bake Oven commercials that showed tasty, wonderful treats coming out of that thing, instead of globs of inedible goo.
The boy version of the Easy Bake Over let you make bugs and eat them. I still think the creations that came out of an Easy Bake Over were worse.
I don’t know if those things were street legal, but I drove to the store for my mom in my Power Wheels on several occasions. I lived in a small town.
This was the greatest Christmas gift I’ve ever received and as soon as my parent’s got it for me I knew I would let them live with me when they got older and couldn’t take care of themselves.
My Little Pony
My sister sang the My Little Pony commercial song so much, that I can still remember every word to it. I used to borrow them so my GI Joes could recreate the Civil War.
Forget your roller skates with two wheels in the front and two in the back. I want to roll on blades of wheels!
Cabbage Patch Kids
Parents were getting into fist fights in stores over Cabbage Patch Kids. “Here’s your doll, sweetie. Just ignore that blood on the box. Mommy had to do what mommy had to do.”
What’s better than having a Nintendo at home? A Nintendo you can take with you anywhere! The only reason I’m good at packing a suitcase is because of my Tetris addiction.
It was Barbie if she had a few Jager Bombs and went to the club.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Ninja Turtles are still popular, but the initial craze when they first came out was almost chaotic. You couldn’t find a store that wasn’t selling Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
If you couldn’t catch and had a fear of getting hit in the face with a baseball or some other injury-inducing toy, Koosh Ball was your dream come true.
“Oh you think this sounds good. Hold on and let me hit this SUPER BASS button!”
My motto at age 8 was, “Don’t even come to my house if you’re playing with GoBots. This is a Transformers house and we don’t take kindly to others.”
Sure a Nintendo is cool, but this is a SUPER Nintendo. This changes everything!
My Buddy/Kid Sister
If you don’t start singing the My Buddy and Kid Sister theme song immediately, I have nothing left to say to you.
Tickle Me Elmo
Tickle Me Elmo was a little past my time of receiving toys for Christmas, but that toy sent the world into a frenzy. Can you not tickle the other Elmo dolls?
I used to have huge wrestling matches against my Wrestling Buddies on my trampoline all the time. Somehow I always won.
This was more of a stocking stuffer, but you have to include the bracelet that could also double as a measuring stick.
GI Joe & Barbie
What can you say about the go-to gift for every boy or girl? If someone didn’t know what to get you, they didn’t buy a gift card. You got either a GI Joe or a Barbie and you absolutely loved it.