Nothing irks me more than a guy who isn’t over his ex, but wants me to give him my heart. I never want to be with someone who is incapable of moving on with his life when I am. It is terribly unfair. Women never want to hear basically anything about your ex unless she is dying. But I’m beginning to realize more and more that some guys are clueless when it comes to discussing their ex with a new love interest. 90% of the time, it is a good idea to never bring up an ex, because for insecure girls like me who had a boyfriend cheat on me with his ex, we do not want to be compared. Even if a girl wasn’t cheated on—she never wants to be compared. She wants to be good enough for you and know that there is no one else in your head, but her. She wants to be your sole focus because for once, she understands that she deserves it.
Here are a few things a girl never wants to here about her new guy’s ex.
1. How great she was
Why would I want to listen to you go on and on about what an amazing person she was? About how much your family liked her? Unless you want me to sit and compare myself, which I will do, please shut up. If she was so great, get her back. Date her instead.
2. How terrible she was
Just like we don’t want to know how great she was, we don’t want to hear how terrible she was. If you bad mouth her and get filled with strong sensitive bad emotions when you bring her up, it makes us think that you’re bitter and not over her. Why would I want to be with someone who still holds on to the past? Moreover, is this how you’re going to talk about us when we’ve broken up?
3. How much you dislike her ex or how he treated her
If you hold any resentment for her other ex-boyfriends, then in my mind, you are not over her. When you move on, you choose to leave things in the past. You release the bad and make peace with the good. If you still are jealous or hold anger towards someone she used to love, it just makes it seem like you can’t move on and shouldn’t be with me. Even if the guy was terrible to her what does this have to do with us now that she’s gone?
4. How great she was in bed
This is something you should never talk about. No girl EVER wants to be compared, especially physically. I never want to have the image of you and your ex in my head in any way because once it’s in there it is nearly impossible for it to get out. I’m sure those moments were great, but it is none of my business and I cringe if it’s brought up.
5. How she taught you how to cuddle
When you hold me and I call you a great cuddler, I don’t want you to tell me that you are because of the three years you spent with [insert name here]; what a slap in the face. Also what a cuddle buzz kill, a cuddle nightmare! I want to sit there wrapped up in your arms and not think about you wrapped up with someone else. This rule goes along with several other things. Even if your ex taught you how to dance or make yummy smoothies, I don’t want to know that.
6. How you still love her
This one may hurt the most. I have affection or care for all the guys I have given my heart to in the past, but I no longer love them. If you are still in love with you ex, you have no business falling in love with someone else. This will only make us feel even more insecure, worthless, and not good enough.