5. If you attempt to hit on me with racially charged pick-up lines, I will take the drink you bought for me and splash it over your head. I will…

Yeah, Sleeping Beauty has class in the morning.

I will meet him somewhere neutral: a coffee shop, a bar, a bookstore.

I know the internet (including myself) is all up on Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ryan Gosling for being ridiculously, ridiculously good looking, but let’s pay respect to the reigning king of…

Fact: If you watch Citizen Kane with your boyfriend and he doesn’t like it, you may want to consider getting a new boyfriend.

I used to cut myself as a punishment. Now I eat stuff that I’m allergic to knowing that it hurts me.

5. Disney World

I don’t think love is always a huge, cataclysmal emotional event. I think sometimes it sits in front of you for a very long time until you glance over and…

1. A poorly timed “yeah,” or “uh-huh,” that gives away the fact you weren’t really listening to their story.

You may be over the song, but you can’t deny that it makes you want to dance — so much that Justin Bieber and his friends got in on the…

It’s interesting to see just how much of her routine was based on actual optical illusions

What they are are fabrications of relationships, because what you two have exists only in the online world, the virtual world.

Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star in 1919 because his editor said he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

3. What 9/11 is.

Nothing you can ever do will convince the rest of the world that they are not just another person walking down the street that doesn’t know how to dress appropriately…

31. Thin crust pizza is for quitters.

Q: “Siri, will you tell me a joke?” A: “The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.”

The pressure on performance. As a guy, I feel like I’m on stage, and I gotta put on a great show. Otherwise I’ll get booed off, or I’ll leave the…

I am oh-so-skilled in making excuses for a man, justifying why he doesn’t call, doesn’t show effort. Men, according to my logic, are just always busy, too busy indeed to…

Every time we forgave our jilted lover only to be cheated again. So many times yet we learn nothing.

An unsuspecting person tricked into eating Dots might pick up a red Dot and think, “Oh, yum, strawberry!” only to put it in their mouth and taste DESPAIR.

Sometimes with great power comes great responsibility.

I don’t know what perfect is. I don’t know what it means to me anymore, so I won’t even pretend to know what it means to anybody else.

Life isn’t always easy, especially in today’s society.

You begin to wonder how your romantic life would look from the outside and you start thinking of your hookups as types.

The best (er… worst?) of religious people on Facebook.

Because it was ill-preserved, the penis was allegedly compared to a piece of leather, a shriveled eel, and to beef jerky.

When I parked in the shopping mall parking lot where Planned Parenthood was, we were both slow to get out. I made a bad joke and said if she was…

You shouldn’t have to wait until all the big things in your life are gone before you realize that the small things will save you.

Their experience is something that we’ve all come in contact with at some point, and it’s that magical, universal resonance that really makes this timeless. Dazed and Confused captures an…

Over 230 doctors, sociologists, economists and world-renowned physicists were involved in this extensive study over over 1.2 million people, who were unknowingly recorded, taped and observed.

We’ve all heard the depressing statistic that only 36% of Americans own a passport. That’s really low (about 70% of Australians and 70% of Brits hold a passport) and though…

Marry the girl who writes because she understands that one doesn’t succeed at writing—it is a continual, ever-evolving, growing craft of experience and practice…just like your marriage.

A long distance lover puts a wrench in the entire concept of romance, doesn’t it?

I’ve heard young women tell each other and themselves over and over “you deserve better!” When sometimes, honestly, it’s not at all clear what that means.

2. He gets really excited upon figuring out strange coincidences.

It’s important to reflect on whether this person is “the one” because you’re madly, deeply in love and would do nearly anything to make them happy, or because they meet…

I didn’t touch alcohol for the first time until I had gotten my acceptance letter from college. I wasn’t personally peer-pressured, more just pressured by society as a whole.

I had dreams every night of a crowd of faceless people with a little boy standing in front. He never spoke but I could tell he was trying to tell…

Miley Cyrus currently racks up over 1 billion Google hits, making her more searched than Lady Gaga, Barack Obama, Katy Perry or God.

As I miserably dish out over $1,500/month for rent in Manhattan (WITH roommates), I can’t help but jealously check out the other places in the country to see the kind…

18. You’ve replaced human contact with Adderall.

7 awesome songs to power you through the day!

No longer did I feel as though my brain was steeped in a fog of dissonance.

I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. I love chick flicks, although I’m not a Nicholas Sparks fan… maybe it’s the trauma in all of them.

24. We pronounce it “Atlanna”.

“If I were prettier, I’d have more of a chance with guys,” I thought, shamefully, secretly, when I was single.

Who let this poor kid eat all those things one after the other?!

4. Sitting in front of an email draft for a good 47 minutes, wondering if the three lines you’re about to send to a prospective employer are too formal, or…

Have you had this feeling in your life before? Who is he? What’s her name?