1. Talking shit about a guy, to said guy.

“Why is Steve being such a cunt?”

Steve seemed to have his own ideas.

2. An anus text sent to mom.

“My anus is on fire dude, I can hardly walk…”

It took three months to convince my mother I wasn’t gay.

Never again will I eat burritos with my best friend.

3. Asked mom’s friend to be his girlfriend.

I was like 13.

“Hey name want to be my girlfriend?”

But I accidentally sent it to my friend’s mom.

She even called me: “You are so cute, but I’m afraid I love someone else”.