I got to know a nice gal on OKC for a few weeks before we decided to meet up for a hiking date. She only wanted to communicate through email or the dating site -which I thought was odd but just went with it. 30 minutes into our date I found out why…She’s married and her husband is a jealous, gun collecting hunter type who she’s thinking about leaving. For 90mins- I felt like a deer during hunting season on that hike. Every bush movement and twig snap I was sure was him…Fuck her for not coming clean before hand.
After a few OkCupid attempts I ended up dating a guy a few times. Eventually he asked if I’d like to see his flat and I said yes. He had loads of swords and machetes on the wall and decided to hold one to my throat to show me how incredibly strong they were. So yeah, there was that.
Met a guy, chatted, he seemed relatively normal. We go for our first date in a pub. A well-lit pub. We’re having a couple drinks, talking and whatnot, I see his hands under the table, moving around. It cannot be. OH BUT IT IS. He was touching himself. Apparently I was turning him on too much and he couldn’t help himself. Date ended pretty quickly after that. The follow-up is, when I got home he’d sent me an epically long email about how I was fat and ugly and a tease and a whore. Oh, and ended it with the phrase, “Don’t bother responding, because I will not read it.” Done and done!
I gave in and signed up for my first online dating site.
My first message came from a man quite a bit older than me.
It read “Do you wanna come over and take a shit while I tweak your nipples?”
I promptly deleted my account.
Friend was trying to find some guys on OKC, and hit it off with a nice guy. They were chatting over webcam, starting to get a little more into each other, and he brought up the idea of cam-sex. She was sort of game for this, and asked him, teasingly, “Oh? How would we do that?”
And in all seriousness, the gentleman responded: “Well, I figured we’d just lie down and like, thrust at the camera.”
Met a girl who described herself as a 24-year old woman who’s blonde. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realized that the girl who sat was a 40-year old lady with two children and was just finding an excuse to leave her house.
My girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. To try and get over things and move on, I went to create an account at eHarmony. For those who haven’t created an account – they give you no less than 436 questions you have to answer during the registration process. I spend a good hour answering all these questions one by one. Again, my self-esteem is pretty low right now due to the break up and here’s the priceless response I get.
Met up with a girl I met on pof at 3am to bang. Had short, drunken sex. Left 5 minutes later. Now I have herpes.
That was a mistake
An ex roommate of mine was from Angola, Africa and had zero luck with the ladies. He was 23 or 24 and met an 18 year old on Christian mingle. One day, he brings her over, and she looks like a worn out truck stop hooker, despite her age, and it was immediately recognizable that she was on something (found out it was Xanax bars) in the first few minutes of meeting the girl. She spoke very…very…slowly…and I doubt there was an ounce of intelligence in her entire body. After seeing her a few times, we (the other roommates and I) started noticing ALOT of shit going missing. She wasn’t welcome over after that.
Two stories, both from OKC. First I met a guy who was hilarious and a bit nerdy and kind of cute…whatever we hit it off. 3rd date we are getting hot and heavy at his place when he says he wants to watch me have sex with his dog. I thought he was joking even though it wasn’t funny but I laughed it off because I didn’t know what else to do. Then he starts getting all serious like “its no big deal. Girls do it all the time.” And so on. Then I left…and he had the nerve to text me 100 times telling me I was a stuck up bitch.
So I’m currently in the military overseas and I got bored one day so I got on OKC thinking, you know what screw it why not. So I’m on the site just messaging a few random girls and start talking to this girl that seemed pretty nice.
Well we hit it off and decided to grab dinner one day. During the dinner I not only found out she only just turned 20 (which really isn’t that big of a deal) but she was also the daughter of one of the Chiefs on my ship.
I kind of just noped out of there.
4 years ago… completely lied about his name. we talked for a month on the phone (as Johnny), he came from San Diego to LA to meet me (actually named luis), and kept threatening suicide, saying there was no point in eating/breathing/living. Few days after the horribly failed date, he left me a voicemail saying “nobody will ever love you as much as I do.” still tries to contact me once every 6 months or so via email to this day.
Went on a date with a guy who seemed totally normal and cool on his profile. Turned out the only two things he could talk about were Indian music (he was white) and his sexual fetishes (small penis humiliation and cuckolding, primarily). He also had terrible table manners. Longest date of my life.
Set a first date for a big Halloween bar hop. I went as hipster Hitler. Never do the first date as Hitler.
To be fair, you can’t read snark on a text. Turns out she was very Jewish.
Life lesson learned.
Got a message from a girl on POF who was a solid 9.5 – we spoke for a bit and decided to meet up. At the bar we had a drink and she revealed how she was a model and how she needed money for rent. By the end of drink 2, she had proposed sex for rent money. I said thanks but no thanks and left.
3 days later — texts like crazy, begging me for money – saying she will let me video, whatever I want — I ignored it and the texts went on for a couple of days.
We met online, he seemed cool and funny, we went out a few times. A few weeks in, he told me I was almost perfect, except my upper arms were fat. I think he meant it as a compliment, but the 2nd part was all I heard.
It was the specificity that made it seem exceptionally cruel.
Guy messaged me from two states over on OkCupid. We end up talking for 3-7 hours a day on the phone and Skypeing for months. He come’s to visit. We have an amazing week. I fall in love. Two weeks later the stress of our relationship too much for him. He chooses being in the closet over our relationship. Year later still in love. He’s still in the closet. I get living a double life sucks, but come on man.
18. A violent date.
The worst experience I had from meeting a girl from OKC was when a girl had ruptured my eardrum on a second date. It took a while to recover from it.
19. A shit date.
My guy friend was fingering a 1-night-stand OkCupid date, and she squeezed a turd into his hand. He smelled it, went to the bathroom to wash up, and promptly left. Never knew if it was accidental or not.
I knew a girl who had an online dating profile. She is a bit overweight. She had something like 2 responses in 2 months. As an experiment she made another profile and used word for word the same description of herself, but with no photograph. She got over 50 responses in the first week. That fact made me very sad. I can only imagine how it made her feel.
She weighed her food.
She literally brought an electronic scale in her purse to dinner. Put it on the table and weighed her portions. We were sharing so she did this three times as she made a new plate for herself.
22. A killer date.
A friend of mine got a message from a guy on Facebook saying he was looking for a high school friend with the same name as hers. He says he knows it’s not her but that she’s beautiful. They start talking, he lives in another state. They meet up, she ends up getting knocked up.
Around 6 months into the pregnancy she finds out he is a serial killer, and is now in prison with a life sentence.
I stopped using my gay.com profile 7 years ago when I had 2 people in a row ask me point blank if I would fulfill their rape fetish fantasy. Over dinner.
My dad always tells the story of going on a date with a woman he met online who brought up her ex-husband and then casually mentioned that the marriage ended because he “shot her puppy”. As in he literally shot her new dog during some argument, an event which she brought up in the same tone of voice you’d say “he always left the toilet seat up.”
Guy turned up for a date in person after online chatting. We didn’t hit it off, so to end the night politely (and early) I walked him to the rail station so he could get the train home. En route, conversation went dry so I randomly asked, “So. What’s in the backpack?” “Oh that’s my overnight bag. If you were my type you never know, I may have needed it.”
26. A paid date.
When someone gave me 500$ to sleep with him. Worth it.
27. A nude date.
My friend met a guy and they planned to have their third date on valentine’s day. She invited him over to her place to make him dinner. She excuses herself to use the restroom and when she gets out, he’s standing there, naked, and COMPLETELY hairless. He suggests they fornicate, but she declines, he gets a large dildo out of his bag and gestures toward her with it – she threatens to call the cops. He throws the dildo in her bedroom (landed on her pillow, ewww!) and runs away – still naked.
eHarmony is a joke. It matched me up with an ex boyfriend. We had zero points of compatibility let alone 21 or whatever they advertise. Was so pissed.
29. A pregnant date.
Met a girl from pof, we were to meet for drinks at a bar. I hate being late so I arrived about 15 minutes early and ordered a beer. When she walks through the door I literally choked on my drink. Very pretty girl just like her photos suggested but failed to mention she was 8 months pregnant. Her excuse was she must have forgotten to mention it. I apologize and leave. She sent me a text the next day to ask is she could borrow some money.
A former friend of mine went on a date with a guy she met on OKCupid. Only problem is, he brought his wife.
There wasn’t a second date.
31. A rape-y date.
I had someone force themselves into my pants while pinning me down because “no doesn’t mean no when you’ve been a tease.” Always meet in public.
Met someone, we chatted from the dating site for about a week, and then shared Facebook info to communicate that way. Two days later, after mentioning my daughter’s pic, he starts telling me that he had recently explained to his daughter what masturbation is. When I voiced my concerns with him sharing this with me, he starts JOKING about how dads should be the ones to teach their daughters about sex and practice with them. He thought this was funny! I immediately blocked him. His last message said something about me not having a sense of humor. Creeeeeepy.