The 20 Rules Of Being A Modern Gentleman

1. Regardless of whether you are picking up a man or a woman, you do so with tact, confidence and humility. You do not treat people as commodity to be conquered, but as souls to be loved.

2. You offer to hold the door as a matter of courtesy, not only for someone you are on a date with, but just for people coming in and out of the store, as any upstanding citizen would. You offer to pay for the date if you were the one who asked them to go out with you. You straightforwardly ask someone to go out with you even if you feel nervous doing so.

3. You respect women (and fellow men) and their desires, wills and bodies. You understand that “no,” by any stretch of the imagination, means no, and that no response doesn’t mean “okay.” You aren’t afraid of asking whether or not you can touch someone somewhere, and you know that part of healthy, wonderful sex is opening those lines of communication.

4. You dress well: true to yourself, fitted nicely, and appropriate for the occasion. You don’t have to be flashy, you don’t have to look like a bum, but regardless, you try your best to wear things that make you feel good above all, but that are also appropriate and respectable.

5. You are generally polite and kind hearted to everyone you come across in your day.

6. You can cook a meal for your significant other, and pick up some chores around the house too. You are not opposed to ironing or staying home with a child or anything else that would otherwise be classically known as a “woman’s role.” You realize there is no such thing.

7. You are kind but straightforward about your intentions– you don’t leave people questioning or hanging, and you certainly don’t use people for your own selfish desires.

8. You have a grasp on what’s socially acceptable and not, and so you wouldn’t call a man who was acting feminine a “fag,” and you know why doing so is inappropriate.

9. You learn to control your anger/temper and not irrationally or otherwise lash out at people who are undeserving (or even people who are! anger and violence gets you nowhere).

10. You reach out and make the first move if and when the occasion to do so arises. You don’t expect anybody else to bend over backwards for you, but are grateful and appreciative if and when they do.

11. You understand your gentlemanliness outside of classic gender roles and do not expect a woman, or man, to do any one thing because of their gender.

12. You aren’t particular or vocal about your opinions regarding how a woman’s hair, body, or overall appearance is. You don’t whine if they don’t shave and you honestly do see women (and men) as beautiful the way they are.

13. You are not condescending toward your fellow male-not-yet-gentleman.

14. You are honest with your money, and work hard to earn it.

15. You are open minded and willing to learn about that which you may not know.

16. You understand that not your size nor classic masculine qualities (or lack there-of) make you any less of a man or of a person. You do not feel the need to abuse your body by working out excessively, abusing drugs, or anything else, because you know that no physical quality will make you more of a gentleman than you can make yourself.

17. You do not drink to violent or unsafe excess.

18. You aren’t afraid to say “I love you” first.

19. You stand up for what you believe, honestly and earnestly, and you stand up for others when you see injustice at hand.

20. You identify as a person: a genuine, kind, honest person first, and a gentleman second. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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About the author

Kate Bailey

Part time writer. Full time bad ass bitch. Brunch-having New Yorker.

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