I’m pretending that I don’t like you like that, and I bet you don’t even know. Why would you? I’ve put a lot of effort into this charade, and I’m…

Maybe our generation should be called Generation :-) instead of Generation Y or whatever they’re calling us. Now, conveniently, you don’t have to put your complicated thoughts and sentiments into…

Stoned sex always begins with the best of intentions. Your senses are working overtime and everything feels so amazing but it usually devolves into a long sex nap with nachos.…

The best love songs make it possible for you to feel like you’re in love for the duration of the song. Even if you’ve been single for some time, you…

That’s the point where you really know, you really, really know, that you’ll be able to tell everything you need about a man’s feelings from the way he looks at…

bahahah: You’re a male programmer with a pony tail who’s generally seen as weird/ creepy/ nerdy by your IRL peers and as either a “guru” or a tyrannical dick by…

R&B is such a truly wonderful genre of music. The sheer, blinding earnestness of so many people trying not only to market sex itself, but how sexy they are as…

I’m sorry, but no amount of love, no Leo and Kate or Jim and Pam or Carrie and Big love, could ever justify the unimaginable bullshit that is eating dinner…

I want to impart my newfound wisdom to all of the readers who want their apartment to stop smelling like One Night Stand and Regret. Listen carefully, grasshoppers.

Herein lies the dilemma of having a crush. Do you actually want to act on it? Do you want to give them your phone number and resign yourself to feeling…

Um, you’re creepy? Um, you’re too old? Um, you’re too aggressive? Um, you smell like onions? Um, I think you have a boyfriend? Um, you just graduated high school? Um,…

It’s all a game we play. You’re not supposed to know how much power you had over me. You’re not supposed to how much I thought about you, how often…

Texting me after 10 on a weeknight is a lost cause dude. I’m watching episodes of Seinfeld on my couch, in my sweatpants, eating pizza. I turned off Social Me…

Your boss could be a fat eyesore and you might still want to sleep with them sometimes. Think of Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock. Dude is seriously old and portly…

Believe in yourself. Don’t feel like you’re not good enough to be loved. Self-pity is a good way to stay single. Self-respect is a good way to stay grounded. Remember…

Make a joke after a few moments of peace, one of those jokes that isn’t funny because of its sharp wit, but funny because it’s a comment on our current…

A relatively small sampling of the many different types of girls who like girls you can expect to encounter in gay bars nationwide. If you don’t come across any of…

Remember that you’re an individual; that your personal success matters. Have something other than ‘Really awesome girlfriend! :D’ on your resume. Take pride in something.

“Do you know *insert name of possible mutual friend here*? Because they also went to Bradford High and I thought you might know them. Oh, you don’t? It’s a really…

All the pretty girls went to the same sleepovers and told the same secrets and wore the same make up. They talked about the cute boys in their grade, the…

Okay, I love getting drunk with someone I’m dating, especially if it’s at a house party or something. You can go and be your social drunk self, all while knowing…

You learn the procedures, you become familiar with how the different coffee tastes and what it mixes well with. It’s not some magical set of spells and incantations that you…

Arrive at realizations that everyone else has already reached, crude truisms you’d idealistically dismissed or ignored. Money is power, pretty is good, sexism is the status quo. Adults don’t know…

In a relationship, it is almost guaranteed that you will get fat and happy. You will lie contentedly in her arms on your plush couch among your eclectic throw pillows…

“Scott,” he says. “I know Bill has been playing every single minute for us for the past year-and-a-half, since right after that fall formal, you know, when he came up…

He has feelings. When you’re upset about something, he actually has the audacity to ask if you’re okay. Between sobs, you want to tell him that it’s not his job…

I remember when we met. We were 6 years old and climbing trees; we were 13 years old and discovering boys; we were 18 years old and starting university, we…

Worry that your relationship lacks definition because you are vastly over-invested (you are) (this is the most clarity and insight you will have throughout this whole situation). Spend more time…

Am I seriously having a Sixteen Candles moment? Thank God I don’t care about my birthday because I would be really bummed right now if I did. I’m so happy…

Why on earth does one person own four different toothbrushes, all of which need to be replaced? Why are there quarters and dimes and nickels and pennies on the floor,…

And I know, guy, that you don’t get your period (although sometimes you’re as annoyingly moody as if you did), so let me lay it down for you in a…

When I turn 25, I should stop being shocked by the fact that my peers are getting married. Proclaiming yourself husband and wife in your mid-twenties doesn’t completely read as…

Why’d you leave me with your crazy sister when you went into labor? She let me drink orange juice and milk at the same time and I threw up everywhere,…

Behavior: Avoiding eye contact. Likely to happen when: You’re talking to your crush. In confrontation. You’re talking to someone who intimidates you. You’re talking to someone you hate. Why? It’s…

Nothing pains me more than waiting for a VIP text message. Whether it’s a text from your ex, someone you’re planning on having sex with later, or your drug dealer…

Get into a drunken fight with them at a nightclub and scream “You know what you did!” just like Lauren and Heidi did on The Hills. Your lover won’t actually…

This is for you, little brother, on your 18th birthday, and for all the other little brothers and sisters who are being asked by life to please leave childhood behind,…

A new kind of relationship seems to have sprung from online dating and technology, which is The Two Week Relationship. It’s when you date someone from anywhere to two weeks…

Perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the show was Carrie’s lax work schedule. Homegirl only had to write one column a week in a crappy newspaper and still managed to…

They’re my friends—I know what they think their problem areas are, I know what colors they think they don’t look good in, I know if wearing a 4-inch heel makes…

The woman who wont drive 45 minutes to the only open McDonalds in her town at 5am when her stomach threatens to suicide over an unrequited love affair with a…

The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted…

Would it be better, if I could tell you how I really feel? If the next time your eyes met mine in the half darkness of a moodily lit bar,…

From Ricki Lake’s cringe worthy (but adorable!) street sass to Jenny Jones’ implant-obsessed panel of midwestern beauty pageant dropouts, I couldn’t get enough of Talk TV (much to my mothers’…

I always hear people talking about how much they hate using public restrooms, but these people are obviously only using the facilities to empty their bladders/colons. Here are five other…

She’s got long blond hair and curves and when she walks into a room, men act like a literal bomb’s gone off. One time, our mom scolded me by asking,…

Don’t get me wrong—I think you’re great. I like to eat dinner across from you, quickly glancing down at the fork idly fondling my food when you catch my eye.…

My brother is messed up. Even though we’ve become “close” in the last few years, I still acknowledge that he’s a person with serious rage issues. I knew things weren’t…

I’ve always had the mindset that if a guy wears really expensive or “sexy” underwear, he actually lacks confidence – he makes up for his insecurity by expensively framing the…

I’m a drive-by spooner. I get in, I get out, and I go to my corner of the bed ASAP. If you want something to hold on to all night,…