1. Impulsively altering your physical appearance, like dying your hair or getting it cut.
2. Speaking to your mother at least once, generally twice, per day.
3. Crying to Celine Dion music videos.
4. Revealing your entire past relationship history to at least one stranger at a bar, generally against their will.
5. Becoming overly attached to an inanimate object, like a blanket or certain pair of shoes.
6. Questioning your former partner’s sexuality.
7. Questioning your own sexuality.
8. Planning out exactly how you will turn them down when (if…you mean if…) they want to get back together.
9. Naming the cats you plan to purchase in the future.
10. Considering moving halfway across the country. Or the world. Your options are open, and you’ve conducted the research that proves it so.
11. Shirking responsibilities at work or with your friends and saying, “I was JUST dumped,” even if it happened two months ago.
12. Purchasing at least ten break-up songs, then listening to them on repeat all. the. time.
13. Googling lists about how to get over a break-up.
14. Consulting with strangers over the Internet about their own heartbreaks, whether through Reddit or Tumblr.
15. Thinking about being intimate with your ex, but then realizing that it makes you both physically nauseated but also that you really sort of, y’know, miss them.
16. Writing emo poetry like you’re back in the eighth grade and thinking its really deep, only to go back a few weeks later and become really embarrassed that yeah, those words? Those were words you thought up.
17. Convincing yourself that the one time you accidentally farted in front of your ex is the real reason why you broke up.
18. Seeing couples and wanting to physically separate them with a forklift.
19. Allowing yourself to eat as many calories as you want because hey – you’re going through a lot and you deserve it.
20. Wearing the same clothes several days in a row and justifying it by saying, “Well, I don’t have anyone who will notice, anyway.”