5 Reasons Men Need To Get Over The Friendzone.

We’ve all heard it. Almost every day. And if we haven’t heard it, we’ve read about it on social media. Each and every day, hundreds of men around the world are falling victim to the friendzone. And each of these men, convinced of their own manliness and sex appeal, are bitching about it on every forum available. And the female gender is getting sick of it.
Who created the friendzone? And who decided it was a real thing? Who validates these complaints and who says I have to feel bad for you? I’m sorry men, but it’s time to suck it up. Because here’s why.

1. Because I can’t control my feelings.

And I know I’m not expected to. The LGBT community defends their orientation by saying that no one can control who they love. And I believe them. Because if I could control whom I loved, I would not have dated half the assholes I dated. And when I stopped dating them, I would have gotten over them in half the time it really took. I wouldn’t have spent drunk Saturday nights at college fumbling on my phone screen, trying to unblock his number on iOS7 to send them a quick “I miss you” text. I wouldn’t cry to random boys about him. I would suck it up and get over the assholes that treat me poorly. So that being said, I can’t control that I don’t like you. Just like I can’t control the boys who don’t like me. That’s life. Sorry.

2. Because I’ve been hurt too.

As I said before, life is perfect for no one. I’ve fallen for guys who haven’t been there to catch me. I’ve been told it isn’t the right time, and that things are too hard. I’ve been hurt. I’m not putting a label on the situation. I’m getting over it by myself. To think that you are the only human being in the world who has ever had his heart broken is some type of bullshit. Don’t make your own vocabulary word (Webster has yet to include the friendzone in their latest addition so it basically doesn’t exist) to label your own misery. You heartbreak isn’t that unique or special.

3. Because I have a type and you are not it.

I fall for a guy’s personality every damn time. I grew up in a sarcastic family and love a guy who can make a good joke. I fall for a crooked smile and some teasing mockery. I like good listeners. The last boy I fell for never ever gave me good advice, but instead just listened and laughed with me after. And that was why I loved him. And the exact moment I felt upset with myself or other people, he was the only person I wanted to speak to. That’s the kind of boy I fall for. And I’m sorry that I’m the type of girl you fall for, but the feeling is not mutual.

4. Because I’m out of your league.

And I don’t mean that in a stuck-up-pretty-girl way. I am actually incredibly self-conscious about my appearance. No man needs to look like a young Ryan Gosling hanging off the ferris wheel in The Notebook. I will be the first to admit that every boy I fall for is lacking in the looks department. I’m out of your league in other ways.

I try harder — not to say I’m smarter, because I may not be. But I want more out of life than beer and an episode of Blue Mountain State. And I will work for it.

I’m more mature — I can handle let downs more easily in my life and I can stand up with grace after falling down hard.
I own up to my mistakes and failures — you blame it on the friendzone.

5. Because I don’t just want a nice guy.

This is probably the worst part of the friendzone. Nothing infuriates me more than having to hurt a boy’s feelings just to be told I “only like assholes.” First of all, let me inform you that they were not assholes when I met them. They were funny and kind and said just the right things. Just because they turned into assholes does not mean I prefer assholes. It means my heart was already in it when I learned the truth. Second of all, being a nice guy is not all that counts in life. You need to be smart and witty, funny and charming. You need to be more than an innocent little boy. You need to be a confident man. And the first step of confidence is recognizing that there is a girl out there for you — but you cannot expect it to be me and blame me when it isn’t. Kapeesh? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Eileen James

Trying very hard not to be a cliche white girl. So far it isn’t working.

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