Cataloged in Psychology

6 Things Every Extrovert Secretly Has To Deal With

Over the past few years I’ve noticed a growing number of articles exclaiming, “How To Take Care of An Introvert” or “10 Things Everyone Should Understand About Introverts” and while I have no real problem with introverts and introversion, my issue is with the fact that people of the internet seem to have romanticized introversion in a way that turns any possible social impediments a person might have into desirable quirky traits. Not only this, but extroverts are suddenly the bad guys for not understanding introverts or mistreating introverts, etc, etc.

As a self-proclaimed extrovert, I’m pretty sick and tired of people assuming that introverts are the only people who have got it hard. Really, seriously? Are we really going to play this game? Now you look here, mister. Extroverts may not seem as delicate or may not seem as complex and diverse, but extroverts have a whole different category of BS they have to deal with too. It’s not easy out there for anyone.

1. People will often assume you’re flirting.

Being an extrovert generally means that you enjoy the company of others, you can appear confident and you’re quite comfortable striking up a conversation with almost anyone, regardless of how much (or how little) you actually know them. What an extrovert considers a normal form of communication, others might see as flirtation and a sign of open sexual availability. You can imagine how frustrating and potentially disheartening it can be to have your friendliness misinterpreted as something more, especially when the person you are talking to gets offended that you are not, in fact, hitting on them.

2. You’re not allowed to be sad.

Most extroverts I know are happy-go-lucky people who like to keep the conversation going, make people laugh and have a good time as often as they can. The only downside to this is that when you do something often enough, people expect you to do it all the time. If you’re someone who spends most of their time being the happy, comical figure in the group, when you’re having a bad day, people are shocked, maybe taken aback, possibly even offended.. they simply don’t understand how you can be not happy. Being an extrovert is a full-time social job that requires you to entertain the crowd, so when you suddenly stop doing what you’re supposed to do, you’re gonna get boo’d off stage.

3. You’re expected to keep the conversation going.

When there’s a lull in the conversation, do you know who starts it back up again? The extrovert does. However, being the engine and the fuel for social gatherings can be extremely tiring and feel like a lot of work, so sometimes it would be nice for us extroverts to be allowed a break and have other people take over (though, for some of us, not talking can be quite the challenge).

4. Being labeled as shallow or unintellectual because you’re not an introvert.

Extroverts are usually stereotyped as being loud, party-going people who are in constant need of social interaction and simply have no time to sit down, relax and maybe read a book or something. On the other hand, there seems to be some romanticizing of introversion (via tumblr and social media) that involves depicting introverts as deep, philosophical, misunderstood, quirky unicorns… or something along those lines. Since when has ‘outgoing’ been a synonym for ‘shallow’? Extroverts are just as capable of complex thought as introverts are of talking to people.

5. Craving the company of others.

Just as introverts feel drained from too much social interaction, extroverts will come down with a case of the blues if they’re left by themselves for too long. Although extroverts enjoy time to themselves every now and again (because really, who doesn’t need alone time?), they thrive in the company of others, so when they’ve spent too much time on their own, they can start to feel restless, have problems focusing, feel really antsy – they desperately need to go out, be around people and do something.

6. People assuming you are always confident.

Being extroverted doesn’t necessarily mean you have an abundance of self-confidence. Sure, an extrovert likes being around people and feels comfortable being around people, but that doesn’t automatically mean that an extrovert is 100% confident in themselves and their actions 24/7. There are many extroverts out there who I’m sure could testify to the fact that they have, on several occasions, felt shy and small and unsure. Extroversion is not synonymous with confidence. TC mark

The People Bringing You Delicious Dairy

A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.

Meet Alise Sjostrom
6 Things Every Extrovert Secretly Has To Deal With is cataloged in , , , ,
  • Louise

    Reblogged this on juste moi –Louise.

  • littlemissteapat

    Reblogged this on Title: Pending..

  • jesstaecie

    Reblogged this on Jassyleciousღ ♒ and commented:
    somewhat true.

  • migiaj

    Reblogged this on welcome to MY world and commented:
    I think I am both an introvert and an extrovert since I experience the problems of both 0.o

    This is probably why my HS classmates would fondly tell me about my “multi-polared” personality :)

  • whatappiram7


    Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2014 15:00:09 +0000 To:

  • seeketchum

    Reblogged this on craig ketchum and commented:

  • missdaniiii

    Reblogged this on Dani Jo and commented:
    This is very true for me as these are struggles that I have to deal with. They have always had struggles that introverts have but never extroverts. I wish some of the people who know me will read this know how to better understand me.

  • chiann08

    Reblogged this on Reign of an oblivious child and commented:
    Just me T^T

  • The Life of an Extrovert | DIE TRYING

    […] 6 Things Every Extrovert Secretly Has To Deal With […]

  • PersonalityCafe

    […] anyone. What do you think about it? Does it seem right or does it seem off the mark about things? Article Link […]

  • mud&flowers

    Reblogged this on [ ❁ ❃ ❋ ].

  • ardourkisses

    Reblogged this on Faith's Lil Secrets. and commented:
    Every single time I have to deal with this. It’s like nobody understands

  • Anakalian Whims

    Reblogged this on Anakalian Whims and commented:
    My extroverted self relates. My introverted self laughed at the whiny-ness of it all. I’m a 50/50 crap shoot on whether I’m an introvert or extrovert on any given day. People label me as extroverted (because that’s typically what I am if I’m bothering to be around people), but I always test out as introverted. Yes, people ALWAYS think I’m more flirtatious than I actually am. People always think I *should* be more outgoing if they’ve met me in a scenario where someone needed to be the outgoing one. If I sit back and observe, they think I’m a moody psycho. People almost never think I have any sort of reasonable IQ at all. I’ve known many people who at some point say, “I didn’t know you were smart, I just thought you read a lot of novels.” Moral of the story = I relate to ALL the lists for both introverts and extroverts and therefore feel like I belong to everyone and no one. It’s an odd place to live in society. Maybe I should write a half-bitter blog about it.

  • Miracle #10493 | Miraculist
  • emiillyrosee

    Reblogged this on New Colors..

  • Planet Embla

    Reblogged this on Planet Embla and commented:
    Amen! Such an honest article. Reason #1. “People will often assume you’re flirting.” I get this all the time! Always have, my ex-boyfriends would always say this to me and new friends or strangers would take my outgoingness as flirting. I wish people would recognize this!
    Thank you Thought Catalog

  • yiyingggg

    Reblogged this on thatingenue.

  • honnnnnnn

    Reblogged this on Little Things .

  • carsoneblasko

    Reblogged this on Picking Apples and commented:
    I love this… Sometimes introverts need to get off their high horse Jesus Christ…

  • womanreloaded

    Reblogged this on womanreloaded and commented:
    Great Article on what my fellow Extroverts deal with.
    Follow: for more great Articles! xo

  • heatherclosson

    Reblogged this on Digital Ramblings and commented:
    I’m an ambivert, but these are certainly things that bother the extroverted side of my personality. In fact, the extent to which some of these items bother me are probably a contributing factor to my introvert-ness. Eh, and being an only child. Anyway- a good read for any extroverted individual out there.

  • Dating for Dummies | Frances Nuar

    […] Thoughtcatalog recently published this worthy piece as to the troubles and perils we extroverts […]

  • yizhongg

    Reblogged this on My life in pictures and words.

  • robertgurney95

    Reblogged this on Short sleeves, Long tees .

  • I’ll admit it, I’m an extrovert. | Radical Geekery

    […] digging into my own emotions and feelings to learn more about myself. A couple of days I ran across this particular article and realized something very clearly about myself, I’m an […]

blog comments powered by Disqus