Latest From
Thought Catalog
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The 10 Least Sexy R&B Lyrics
R&B is such a truly wonderful genre of music. The sheer, blinding earnestness of so many people trying not only to market sex itself, but how sexy they are as…
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Some Much-Needed Rules For PDA
I’m sorry, but no amount of love, no Leo and Kate or Jim and Pam or Carrie and Big love, could ever justify the unimaginable bullshit that is eating dinner…
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5 Things That Smell Amazing And Will Make Lots Of People Want To Have Sex With You
I want to impart my newfound wisdom to all of the readers who want their apartment to stop smelling like One Night Stand and Regret. Listen carefully, grasshoppers.
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A Letter To Your Crush
Herein lies the dilemma of having a crush. Do you actually want to act on it? Do you want to give them your phone number and resign yourself to feeling…
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Reasons Why I’m Never Going To Have Sex With You
Um, you’re creepy? Um, you’re too old? Um, you’re too aggressive? Um, you smell like onions? Um, I think you have a boyfriend? Um, you just graduated high school? Um,…
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You Need To Know That You Broke My Heart
It’s all a game we play. You’re not supposed to know how much power you had over me. You’re not supposed to how much I thought about you, how often…
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The Real Reasons I’m Not Texting You Back Right Now
Texting me after 10 on a weeknight is a lost cause dude. I’m watching episodes of Seinfeld on my couch, in my sweatpants, eating pizza. I turned off Social Me…
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5 People You Might Feel Weird Fantasizing About
Your boss could be a fat eyesore and you might still want to sleep with them sometimes. Think of Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock. Dude is seriously old and portly…
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Things To Remember When You’re Single
Believe in yourself. Don’t feel like you’re not good enough to be loved. Self-pity is a good way to stay single. Self-respect is a good way to stay grounded. Remember…
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I Want To Snuggle With You
Make a joke after a few moments of peace, one of those jokes that isn’t funny because of its sharp wit, but funny because it’s a comment on our current…
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7 Types Of Lesbians You’ll Find In A Gay Bar
A relatively small sampling of the many different types of girls who like girls you can expect to encounter in gay bars nationwide. If you don’t come across any of…
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Things To Remember When You’re In A Relationship
Remember that you’re an individual; that your personal success matters. Have something other than ‘Really awesome girlfriend! :D’ on your resume. Take pride in something.
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Stuff You Say To Someone When The Conversation Runs Dry
“Do you know *insert name of possible mutual friend here*? Because they also went to Bradford High and I thought you might know them. Oh, you don’t? It’s a really…
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What Life Must Be Like For A Pretty Girl
All the pretty girls went to the same sleepovers and told the same secrets and wore the same make up. They talked about the cute boys in their grade, the…
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5 Legitimate Reasons To Get Drunk
Okay, I love getting drunk with someone I’m dating, especially if it’s at a house party or something. You can go and be your social drunk self, all while knowing…
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4 Jobs To Take If You Hate Humanity
You learn the procedures, you become familiar with how the different coffee tastes and what it mixes well with. It’s not some magical set of spells and incantations that you…
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A Checklist For The Age 19
Arrive at realizations that everyone else has already reached, crude truisms you’d idealistically dismissed or ignored. Money is power, pretty is good, sexism is the status quo. Adults don’t know…
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10 Things That Happen In A Lesbian Relationship
In a relationship, it is almost guaranteed that you will get fat and happy. You will lie contentedly in her arms on your plush couch among your eclectic throw pillows…
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Why Hooking Up With Girls Who Have Boyfriends Never Pays Off
“Scott,” he says. “I know Bill has been playing every single minute for us for the past year-and-a-half, since right after that fall formal, you know, when he came up…
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10 Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Seriously Gay
He has feelings. When you’re upset about something, he actually has the audacity to ask if you’re okay. Between sobs, you want to tell him that it’s not his job…
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Things I Feel When I Miss You: An Open Letter To My Friends
I remember when we met. We were 6 years old and climbing trees; we were 13 years old and discovering boys; we were 18 years old and starting university, we…
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How To Define Your Ambiguous Relationship
Worry that your relationship lacks definition because you are vastly over-invested (you are) (this is the most clarity and insight you will have throughout this whole situation). Spend more time…
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Why Birthdays Are So Depressing
Am I seriously having a Sixteen Candles moment? Thank God I don’t care about my birthday because I would be really bummed right now if I did. I’m so happy…
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The 5 Stages Of Moving In With Your Boyfriend
Why on earth does one person own four different toothbrushes, all of which need to be replaced? Why are there quarters and dimes and nickels and pennies on the floor,…
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In Defense Of Period Sex
And I know, guy, that you don’t get your period (although sometimes you’re as annoyingly moody as if you did), so let me lay it down for you in a…
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Things You Must Stop Doing Once You Turn 25
When I turn 25, I should stop being shocked by the fact that my peers are getting married. Proclaiming yourself husband and wife in your mid-twenties doesn’t completely read as…
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Brief Letters To My Mom
Why’d you leave me with your crazy sister when you went into labor? She let me drink orange juice and milk at the same time and I threw up everywhere,…
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A List Of Things People Unintentionally Do When They’re Uncomfortable
Behavior: Avoiding eye contact. Likely to happen when: You’re talking to your crush. In confrontation. You’re talking to someone who intimidates you. You’re talking to someone you hate. Why? It’s…
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6 Things You Can Do While Waiting For Someone To Text You Back
Nothing pains me more than waiting for a VIP text message. Whether it’s a text from your ex, someone you’re planning on having sex with later, or your drug dealer…
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How To Keep Someone From Falling Out Of Love With You
Get into a drunken fight with them at a nightclub and scream “You know what you did!” just like Lauren and Heidi did on The Hills. Your lover won’t actually…
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Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Turned 18 (Happy Birthday Little Brother)
This is for you, little brother, on your 18th birthday, and for all the other little brothers and sisters who are being asked by life to please leave childhood behind,…
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Understanding The Strange Dating Habits Of Twentysomethings
A new kind of relationship seems to have sprung from online dating and technology, which is The Two Week Relationship. It’s when you date someone from anywhere to two weeks…
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5 Lies Carrie Bradshaw Told Me
Perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the show was Carrie’s lax work schedule. Homegirl only had to write one column a week in a crappy newspaper and still managed to…
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Questions I Have For Perfect-Looking Women
They’re my friends—I know what they think their problem areas are, I know what colors they think they don’t look good in, I know if wearing a 4-inch heel makes…
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10 Types Of People I Do Not Trust
The woman who wont drive 45 minutes to the only open McDonalds in her town at 5am when her stomach threatens to suicide over an unrequited love affair with a…
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The Second Time You Fall In Love With Someone
The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted…
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If I Could Tell You How I Really Feel
Would it be better, if I could tell you how I really feel? If the next time your eyes met mine in the half darkness of a moodily lit bar,…
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’90s Talk Show Hosts: Where Are They Now?
From Ricki Lake’s cringe worthy (but adorable!) street sass to Jenny Jones’ implant-obsessed panel of midwestern beauty pageant dropouts, I couldn’t get enough of Talk TV (much to my mothers’…
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5 Things You Can Do In A Public Restroom
I always hear people talking about how much they hate using public restrooms, but these people are obviously only using the facilities to empty their bladders/colons. Here are five other…
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I Am The Smart One, She’s Just My Sister
She’s got long blond hair and curves and when she walks into a room, men act like a literal bomb’s gone off. One time, our mom scolded me by asking,…
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Reasons Why I Cannot Love You
Don’t get me wrong—I think you’re great. I like to eat dinner across from you, quickly glancing down at the fork idly fondling my food when you catch my eye.…
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Can You Love A Monster?
My brother is messed up. Even though we’ve become “close” in the last few years, I still acknowledge that he’s a person with serious rage issues. I knew things weren’t…
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What His Underwear Says About Him
I’ve always had the mindset that if a guy wears really expensive or “sexy” underwear, he actually lacks confidence – he makes up for his insecurity by expensively framing the…
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Ten Reasons Why You Should Never Date Me
I’m a drive-by spooner. I get in, I get out, and I go to my corner of the bed ASAP. If you want something to hold on to all night,…
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Wear A Bathrobe Everyday Forever
I have recently cultivated an interest in bathrobe wearing. Sometimes people forget about the bathrobe, the creepy (probably depressed) uncle of the fashion world. They wake up, shower, and move…
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The Different Types Of Cigarette Smokers There Are
The Chainsmoker is equal parts gross and impressive. They’re that person who lights their next cigarette with the cherry of their last one. They’re the person you don’t even bother…
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Why Do Twentysomethings Always Feel So Old?
I think the reason why twentysomethings are so fixated on age is because we feel a pressure to be a certain way at 23, at 25, at 29. There are…
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What You Would Be Like In A Perfect World
In a perfect world, everyone you loved would love you back. It’d be as easy as 1, 2, 3. “Oh, you love me? I love you back then. No questions…
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Nine Reasons Why You Aren’t Getting Laid
You’re in a #dark place with your body. You feel fat and undesirable. You totally get why you aren’t getting laid! But that kind of thinking is dangerous. If you…
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The 5 Most Intimate Things You Could Do To Somebody
I recently held back someone’s hair while they vomited for the first time and was struck by how tender it felt. Scooping their hair up and pulling it back as…
