1. You get antsy if the stranger seated next to you on a train or airplane engages you in conversation for more than five minutes because they’re cutting into your eagerly anticipated hours of uninterrupted reading time.
2. You’re running out of room for your existing possessions but you are still accumulating books anyway and lying to yourself that stacks of used paperbacks give your apartment scholarly charm.
3. You get more excited about likes on your Goodreads reviews than on your Facebook updates.
4. You will buy another copy of a book you already own if you encounter a particularly beautiful edition. Fancy endpapers! Genuine leather binding! It’s a collector’s item, really. You’d be foolish NOT to buy it.
5. On at least one occasion you’ve pulled an all-nighter or temporarily withdrawn from civilized society to power through a riveting novel, and upon finishing, experienced a sense of exhausted satisfaction as though you’d completed a half marathon or thoroughly cleaned your closet.
6. You are the friend or family member who gives books as gifts, even to people you know are not fond of reading: “But it’s about that thing/place/person you like! Just try it!”
7. You don’t have a Kindle. Or, conversely, you do have one, and are completely enamored with the way it delivers books to you on-demand and travels so easily – but you feel kind of guilty about it, like when you finally got rid of your favorite stuffed animals from when you were a little kid.