Your Facebook profile says a lot about you. No really — a lot. That’s why we need to be super careful about the kinds of images we upload, people. I know someone in the comments is going to come for my wig. “U r so judgmental” and “let people post whatever pictures they want to post!” Yes, please do! Post your fucking hearts out. All I’m saying though is to think.com before you upload dumb pics to the site. Whenever I use Facebook on my phone I’m always so terrified of “the wrong” photos getting uploaded and basically ruining my life from there.
Here are 5 Facebook photos that have got to stop.
Stuff About God
The great thing about religion is that it’s personal. You don’t have to flash your spirituality or religious views around for everybody to see. But some people treat Facebook as a chance to talk all about religion and how amazing The Lord is — and he IS amazing! But why is every single post or image you upload a Bible verse superimposed on a sunset??
Bathroom Mirror Shots Taken With An iPad
Is there anything more now than the iPad facilitated bathroom selfie/duck face combo? A bathroom selfie is one thing. But a bathroom selfie-with-iPad looks ridiculous. Everyone has a bathroom selfie on their phones, sprinkled throughout pics of food, cats, dicks, various tits plus shots from all the concerts you’ve ever seen. For every single bathroom mirror selfie/duck face combo there are dozens of other shots from the same series that didn’t quite make it. We always try to look so sexy in these shots, but are you really trying to seduce all 2,000 of your very close friends, frenemies, coworkers and people you went to high school with?
Aggressive Party Pics
There’s a thin line between photos showing you having a good time with your BFFs and photos of you acting a hot ass mess, getting hammered rolling around the floor, absolutely drunk, doing stupid shit. I have a lot of friends who work in nightlife and they frequently post tasteful party pics — of their looks, of performances, stuff like that. The keyword, though, is tasteful, or as tasteful as fabulous party clowns can be. Also their job is nightlife, so I’m sure people don’t mind. But since basically everyone on the globe is on Facebook now, there’s a good chance that a professor, a colleague, a superior or a future employer is going to see you acting ridiculous and decide, based on some stupid photos, that you are no longer employable. Don’t do it.
Shirtless Muscle Pic Selfies
We are very proud of you for mastering the gym for the first time in life and for being so committed to your body! You know I don’t mind a shirtless bro, but unless it’s some kind of ad campaign with some model, that or shirtless photos of Ryan Gosling, JGL, etc, then let’s all stop. There is a time and a place for shirtless muscle selfies, and you know it is not Facebook.
Wedding Photos — FROM A YEAR AGO OR MORE!!!
I love marriage. I love the idea of getting married. I love married people. I might even like looking at your wedding photos if you recently tied the knot with someone you love deeply. BUT! If you got married more than a year ago can you please stop it with the wedding photos? I get it — you love each other and you are happy and your wedding was life-changing. Congrats. But do you have any other identity than your wedding photo? Like does it have to be your Facebook photo a year later? I’m friends with YOU, not your wedding.