Latest Posts
I’m A Creepy Neighbor
Just then I noticed a Barbie head a few feet over. And it looked like a real Barbie, not a misshapen, bald head. As I got closer, I realized it was just the head and neck, and a bit of shoulders.
How To Tell People You’ve Written A Book
I recently published a book with Thought Catalog (you should buy it) (this is how I’m telling you).
Ridiculous Things I Believed As A Child
Visiting A Psychic
Carol led me into the cave and closed the door slowly behind us with a devilish grin. She’s really legit! I thought to myself.
25 Facts About Turning 25 That Will Make You Feel Weird
Stephen Hawking published A Brief History of Time, which means your entire lifetime is excluded from his history of time.
Screw Mayonnaise
Don’t you hate those people who talk about their diets all the time? They go on and on about how they’re “so into lentils right now,” and how they’ve stopped eating gluten because it’s bad for everyone, and how they’ve never been to a Taco Bell and want to keep that streak alive.
What’s Up With Mall Kiosk Salesmen
A kiosk salesman made eye contact with us and motioned us over. As a human being, it’s a natural reaction to walk toward someone who is beckoning.
Boobies
I ended up “developing” early, or so it seemed. When you’re a fat kid, people always think you’re developing boobs, even if you’re a boy.
An Adult’s Guide To Playing With Dolls
Enter: Ken doll. The girl dolls would all swoon and giggle as the Ken doll entered and sized them all up. He’d go down the line, one by one, and introduce himself to each doll. I played the voice of Ken and all the unclaimed Barbies.
