I Fell In Love With A Married Mannequin
What does all this prove? Only that we want things we think we want but do not, and the things we had but gave away, those are the things we want more than anything.
Jeffrey Ellinger
A stupid idiot
Latest Posts
A Love Letter To My Balls
I would take a picture of you and send it back to you, because even though I know everyone would like to see you, you alone deserve to gaze upon your dumplings.
100 Apologies
Short Reviews Of 10 Books I Haven’t Read Yet
Call me a literary schadenfreudist, but I like books about writers who fail at life.
Everyone’s Guide To Gender Equality
Until we untie ourselves from the idea that one group of people is bad and the other is good, nothing will change. There will be a million more wasteful blog posts. A billion meaningless hashtags.
One Long Sad Sentence
I could submit to this place or write for that place, or go on a run, or look at someone’s Twitter and dream I have their life of writing lists for Buzzfeed by day and selling adorable but profane embroidery by night
Jesus At The Beer Festival
And though Jesus had made the two women, composed their breasts from nothing, even caused the sun to rise and give them that slightest twinge of brown, he couldn’t help but regret making their forms so healthy.
