Don’t sell your time to someone else’s purpose. You can do better. Be poor for a while if that’s what it will take.

I could probably make this entire list David Sedaris. But I didn’t because I have restraint.

Even if things are as bad as they could possible be, and as meaningless, then matters of truth are themselves indifferent; we may as well please our sensibilities and, with…

Poetry is something like normal prose accelerated, and Kanye West is a poet.

7. You give me reasons to want to be better, but I need to be better for me.

Let’s go over the rules one more time. #1: We’re not spending over $5.

The quota of timed jumping in the air photos for the entire world has been met now. Thank you for your cooperation.

Then, around 5 PM, you attempt to eat a sandwich to replenish your depleted hit points and end up falling asleep in your dinner plate, covered head-to-toe in a second…

If you like Antonio Banderas or Benjamin Bratt, you’ll fall in love with Fidel Castro, Cuba’s sexiest paranoid psychopath. My theoretical hymen just broke talking about him.

Be prepared to be talking A LOT. Not just moaning, TALKING. TO. CREEPY. STRANGERS. A. LOT.

If your life wasn’t hard enough already, keep in mind that you could have a rare disorder that makes you reek of nasty fish odor!

Afternoons spent on AIM with friends, talking about crushes and perfecting your away messages to be the perfect mix of coy and enticing. (No combination of emo lyrics and illegible…

Welcome to the Philippines, the most “gay-friendly” nation in Asia — or so they say.

Buttercup doesn’t fit the standard girl role. Her “spice” gives her tomboy mannerisms, making her the tough and strong one.

“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance…

If the lighting is bad, we might have to pass on being in a picture (because even if we’re in it, we might not be in it).

Because of pesticides in the soil, rice contains huge quantities of inorganic arsenic, especially brown rice because the residues concentrate in the outer shell of the grain.

Do you also have a problem? If these following points sound like you, you may be an addict. But don’t worry. There’s a group for it. On Wednesdays we wear…

No wonder I found my own eyes to be unappealing! Society was telling me that they were the least desirable.

Even a piece of fried chicken was harmed as these Nashville residents did everything they could to tell the world: YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

“…I have this history of wanting to work things out on my own and protect people from what’s going on with me.” – Kerry Washington

“There’s no gravity between us our love is automatic… zoom, zoom, zoom make my heart go boom, boom, my supernova girl.” These words mean something to you because everything was…

It’s not until you go inside and are covered with the kind of sunburn that falls somewhere between “purple” and “my skin is sloughing off in sheets of pain,” that…

“HAY WORLD, GUNNA TRY U. WHAT’S CON ED? LOL”