1. You make me feel like shit more than you make me feel good.
2. I get insecure when I think of you with another girl. We’re not even dating. We’re not even hooking up on a regular basis anymore. We’re “just friends”.
3. You leave me in tears as often as you leave me in laughter.
4. I started liking my best friend less because I was hanging out with you more.
5. You never pick up your crumbs off the couch.
6. Even though I gained so much self-confidence, I lost most of it to you.
7. You give me reasons to want to be better, but I need to be better for me.
9. My day often revolves around you, when it should revolve around painting and reading and writing and things that I know I truly love.
10. When I said I squatted 200 lbs., you didn’t believe me. Fuck you, because I’m a beast.
11. I feel like you’re an addiction, and that scares me. I don’t know how to stop.
12. The cycle keeps starting over and over again, for the past year and a half. I’m insecure enough to get sucked in for those few moments of what feels like happiness.
13. The farts you get from your protein shakes.
14. Sometimes you ruin all the progress that I feel like I make. You ruin my happy sometimes. I think you take advantage of the limitless trust I have for you.
15. You make my mind fog up even when it seems like you bring me clarity.
16. I think you forget how much potential you have. I don’t think you realize how badly I want you to work hard for everything you deserve.
17. You leave wet towels on the floor.
18. I never know when you’re being honest with me. It scares me because I think you do it to protect yourself. It worries me more that you think you need to protect yourself from me.
19. You leave me without cohesive words.
20. I sometimes feel empty while I wait for your response. I need something else to make me feel full again.
21. You told me I had to put sheets on my bed, when you know perfectly well I like sleeping directly on the mattress.
22. It seems like I’m always here, waiting in the wind for you. I think that’s why you feel like you’re not in danger of losing me. You might be right.
23. I’m too territorial of you, of someone who isn’t mine. I feel like a dog and I want to metaphorically pee on you.
24. I’m your back-up plan. I know it, you know it. I deserve to be Plan A.
25. If you respected me, I think you would use a condom and not cause such a fuss.
26. I know how unhealthy this is. And it scares me. It scares me more than anything else.
27. When you told me she was at your place tonight, I thought I was going to vomit.
28. You make me respect myself less and I hate both of us for that.
29. You confuse me and I like that you make me feel, but you make me feel for the wrong reasons.
30. You often leave me sleepless, with good and bad intentions.
31. Because I had to write this list to feel some sense of calm.
32. You know all my secrets.
33. You know all my secrets except for the one where I’m going to keep running back. Because for an instant, every time, I think you’ll know how I really feel and I won’t have to tell you.
34. Maybe you feel the same way.