Do other people rehearse their orders at restaurants?

If you’re not here sitting on the couch watching reruns of of Friends, you must be doing something really cool.

The confidence to dance like a maniac.

If I had given the angel on the other shoulder a chance to rebut, she would have explained the foolish tradeoff I was making. I gain twenty minutes or so…

Pumpkins…Meh

When a man treats me completely normally… like I’m a person and not a girl.

7. The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

“Almost ready” doesn’t mean “ready in a half hour.” It means “we will be walking out the door in the next five minutes.”

This is a little trick for people who are really shy or introverted. Offer to help the host, they almost always need a little last minute help.

What women REALLY want in a man.

2. Expectations are dangerously low. Society assumes you are still an idiot.

The need to find out what will happen if I don’t relent or moderate my actions has been a constant source of difficulty and discomfort in my life.

There’s a special occasion that can be commercialized almost every month.

Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!

12. Sometimes you will be sad and cry for no reason

The best part? The look of fear on her face during the whole thing because she didn’t know how many she put up there in the first place.

I definitely have body image issues. One offhanded, mostly joking comment about a shirt making me look fat and I’ll be stressing about it for the rest of the day.

A new stack of $100 bills is one hundred hundreds — $10,000. That went in my jeans.

How do people manage this outside of an American Apparel photoshoot?? How???

26. “Orange is the New Black.”

Movies have the remarkable ability to stay with us–not only on our dusty DVD shelves, but in our hearts and minds. Here are a few that tend to stick around:

This playlist includes: Lorde, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Icona Pop, The Gaslight Anthem, Kanye West, Pusha T, XTC, The Arcade Fire, Lana Del Rey, The Neighborhood, Katy Perry, The Stone Roses…

What your parents didn’t give you.

Feeling the ever-growing chasm between the friends who have “careers” and the friends who have “jobs,” and wondering what side of it is even better to be on.

I may not want to be a lifeguard when I grow up, but “not real jobs” are the place where you develop skills that you’ll need when you actually have…

52. There are many ways to #YOLO without calling it #YOLO.

1. “12 Years a Slave”: Best Picture

Why are we always talking about what “girls” do? Let’s talk about what “women” do.

You COULD live by this maxim. OR you could live by the more appealing, joyless and realistic one that I have stamped on my throw pillow: Fart, vomit, die. The…

The Disney movies seem oddly interested in captive, passive women suffering in extremis, like a Lars von Trier movie for kids.