[Sand dunes] bear a resemblance to the force that created them, wind. It is as if each grain of sand were a bit inside the memory of a natural computer.

“I love Thanksgiving turkey … it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

2) Describing yourself as “straight-acting.” What does that even mean?

We have all gone for that teased look to get some of that fantastic volume that everyone loves so much, only to realize it turns your entire head into a…

4. Self-deprecating humor.

Yesterday Fielder asked his followers to text their significant others with “I haven’t been fully honest with you,” then wait one hour before texting them anything. Here’s what’s happened thus…

10. Your parents will call you from upstairs, downstairs, outside, etc., to hand them something that is literally 10 centimeters away from them.

3. He does not eat cats.

No one wants to talk to you anymore because every conversation has a 86.73% chance of you ending up in tears.

There are few things more depressing than seeing an entire generation of men who have perhaps one suit at best, and break it out only for weddings, funerals, and any…

If you don’t “get” avocados, it’s time for you to be pushed off a cliff of some kind, because you are wasting valuable oxygen that the rest of us could…

Here is a list of 29 things from the 90s that you might not remember on your own.

Everyone, except for a white lesbian couple who had moved to the area to build parks for underprivileged children, was black or Hispanic.

I let my nose break me, but it turns out that, for the most part, I just wanted something to blame for my shortcomings.

I can’t tell you the last time I sat down to eat and didn’t completely fall into a whirlwind of frightening thoughts: Is this really three ounces of chicken? Will…

Bonus points if you actually use different voices/accents for the different people in the imaginary conversation. That is a prestigious level of shower insanity.

6. The Usual Suspects

It is so much more simple to say, “Stop caring what a man thinks, ladies, you’re beautiful as you are,” than to address all of the myriad reasons why that…

Does your city have a giant pink elephant giving itself a bath?

2. You’re kind of avoiding introducing them to your friends.