You were just that overcome with emotion that instead of saying anything, your slovenly self decided to just type a colon and half a parentheses in response to some of…

Who allows ten messages to go unanswered — a month of silence to stretch on — and still be excited when the other person finally decides to respond? I did.

It had been during that 11-hour car ride, Pooh thought to himself as he spied the river off in the distance, when he realized he had to kill Piglet.

As for extremely jealous, controlling situations — those typically aren’t going to end well, so walking (or even briskly jogging) away isn’t necessarily a bad idea.

The thing about gossip is, no matter how much you enjoy it in the moment (and we all kind of have our ugly moments of saying something nasty about someone…

Will Smith is not just the father of Willow and The Karate Kid.

LL Cool J — I liked how he kept licking his lips in “Going Back to Cali”; seemed like obsessive compulsive disorder, but since he’s a stud no one called…

Obviously, if you’re a werewolf, it’s time to lock yourself in cage in a library and have a friend stand by with a tranquilizer gun. (Buffy reference!)

These are songs to cry to, drink to, feel weak to; songs to feel wounded to and feel the tight swell in your chest to.

Aside from his parents, you’re the one I need to impress the most. Don’t make it hard on me. I’m already bugging.

You were there through different relationships the way a people weathers different administrations, learning intimately what it is they are looking for and the mistakes they are making — mistakes…

Are you depressed? You may want to just buy Elliott Smith’s entire discography and save yourself the trouble.

When you’re starving for their time and attention, this is an opportunity for sustenance. The scraps and crumbs of their busy schedule will serve as nourishment. Very little, but that’s…

They come to your art show. They encourage you to practice with your band. They don’t get jealous or upset when you have to work late. They genuinely want you…

If your’e telling a story, have no concept of what you’re actually saying, and realize far too late that you’ve been talking for seven straight minutes about that time you…

Horrifying spelling. A text riddled with basic errors can be a deal breaker. Not abbreviations — but messages that look like the Zodiac-killer wrote them and take forever to decode.

Unsolved Mysteries is the reason why I watch my garage door go all the way down – because if I don’t, a killer will most definitely slide under at the…

Stop wasting money renting a studio apartment that more accurately resembles a closet or buying expensive gym class fads/designer clothes/beauty products that’ll make you skinnier/trendier/prettier/whatever.

See all of your friends from home one last time and remind yourself of how much you love them, how big a part of you they are, and how you…

I know you must get that a lot, and on good days you probably let it slide. You think, “We’re happy and that’s all that matters,” you think, “Some people…

Endured the company of terrible people without throwing my drink on them.

But now that every person with a smart phone has instant access to every bit of human knowledge, not only do you have to be right 100% of the time,…

I know I love you because I want to listen, I really do. I don’t have anywhere to be that can’t wait for a while and I’m not checking my…

We all know that tragic couple who is constantly having some Maury-esque fight, vowing never to speak to each other again, sleeping together a week later, and putting that relationship…

I’ve shot airsoft guns, paintball guns, water guns, Nerf guns, staple guns – every type of gun that isn’t actual bullets.

It means just because they’ve often declared their admiration and respect for Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen DeGeneres, it can mean diddly-squat when it comes to their own flesh and…

Even though Spotify was straight player hating this week (Five Total songs? One Aaliyah album? RLY?), I think you’ll enjoy it just the same.

Am I supposed to smile while everybody sings? Or do I modestly laugh? Do I make eye contact with people individually, or glance by all of them? Would it be…

But as I’ve discovered recently, most women have never seen their pee hole.

I’ve mastered the art of changing topics, deflecting and using sarcasm to escape the grasps of any intimate or layered question thrown my way. It’s not a purposeful, focused defensive…

Well, if you’re not going to get that gym membership (a perennial list marker), you might as well actually read those 10,000 books you always say you’re going to get…

Somehow we can convince ourselves, at the beginning of June, that we’ll be fine when the end of August rolls around and it’s time to put things behind us. And…

Club Monaco dresses and Chanel makeup are not good reasons to be broke. But plane tickets, traveling, and new experiences are. 

I got emotional compiling this week’s playlist (I know, right? Me, emotional? What are the odds?)

Struggling with same sex attraction sucked. Coming out probably sucked. But now this is your advantage: you are strong and you know you are strong.

But like I said before: who cares about the story or the “reality” of the story? It’s about the sex, right? But here’s where I say that’s it’s not about…

An awkward person with a cell phone in a social environment is the equivalent to MacGyver having a Swiss Army knife while in a bind.

Also, there are thousands of different dishes to try, and eating out is exponentially cheaper than trying to cook at home (if your apartment even had a kitchen, which it…

I know we all want to skip to the ending — the parts where you host game nights together and do the Sunday crossword in bed — but don’t forget…

Sometimes you just need to get completely obliterated, but that’s not the real, inherent motive behind drinking. It’s the possibility of meeting someone new, doing something crazy, and letting loose. We…

The thing no one wants you to know is that mania is fun. It’s great. It’s how a lot of us function. It’s how a lot of us succeed.

When they know what size you wear.

They live in a different state and aren’t involved in the day-to-day of your life which makes things difficult. You begin to dread these catch up sessions because not only…

You deserve to look for love, if that’s what you want, and be ready to accept it when it comes your way.

When I say that I want you to be happy, I mean it. We’re used to thinking that no one can just move on from a lost love and genuinely…

As embarrassing and preposterous as this is, people consider Facebook’s ‘In a relationship’ label to be the equivalent of an online wedding band.

Expect trust. Without trust, you have nothing. Your partner should trust you completely until you give them a reason otherwise. If they don’t trust you, if they’re already paranoid in…

Specifically, it contains a ton of 80s new wave and that 90s dance music we interchangeably refer to as trance, techno, club, and house because it seems impossible to discern what the difference…

Love can be a giant short bus, y’all! It can cause otherwise smart, capable people to become deaf and blind to any and flaws. I can’t tell you how many…

I know that, personally speaking, I am guilty on countless occasions of passing judgment about another woman’s looks, of putting her into a category of some kind or making assumptions…