1. Seeing Beauty Everywhere
I don’t know if this is a fluid sexuality thing specifically, but I feel lucky to be able to appreciate the beauty in all people — regardless of gender. Usually, I can see how someone could find almost anyone else attractive. It’s not so much the standard model of “good-looking,” but more like picking out attributes and admiring them individually. Everyone has the ability to be sexy (if they want to be).
Sure, straight or gay people can recognize the beauty — physical and otherwise — of someone of the same sex but I imagine it’s a little different. More like looking at a painting and less like salivating over a free cupcake. There’s that missing edge that makes everything buzz with immediacy. I like that girl’s hair. That guy has strong shoulders. That girl’s legs are long. I like that guy’s sense of humor. It’s something I really like about how my attractions work as someone with a fluid sexuality. They’re never limited.
2. Enlightening People
Yes, this can get annoying but think of the good you do when you change somebody’s perceptions of what bisexual or pansexual people are supposed to be like. It’s teaching through your very existence. (Of course, this shouldn’t be your constant burden, but try and consider the positives.)
When you change someone’s mind about what fluid sexuality means, or enlighten them about the problems with assigned gender, or take the time to explain pansexuality, you’re showing them something they may never have encountered. You have the opportunity to shut down biphobia and to change the rotten rep we get from both the straight and gay community. It does suck sometimes, but it can be pretty nice, and necessary, when it works out.
Cliche, cliche, cliche. But if you’re bi and into that? The world is your oyster. (Er, your clam? I don’t know. Gross. Sorry.) Though the idea of being “greedy” or wanting “both” is often used against people with fluid sexualities, maybe we should all just flip our hair and be like, “Jealous?” Because if you do want both? So what? Get down with that.
4. Falling In Love With A Person
Surprise! Bisexual people can want monogamy too! If you do fall in love, it will be with someone regardless of their genitalia. That’s pretty neat and romantic. There’s possibility. There’s no freaking out when the pants come off. Whatever’s there is cool by me. Unless it’s like, a shark or something. I hate sharks.
Obviously straight, asexual and gay people fall in love because of personality too, but there’s something comforting about knowing that when/if I do settle down, gender will be besides the point.
5. Giving Relationship Advice To All Sexualities
Not that bisexual people know anything more about the confusing world of dating than anyone else (we’re all just flailing out here!) but I do find myself able to look at both sides of a friend’s situation a little better than most.
If a guy has a girl problem, you can help because you’ve dated women. If a girl has a guy problem, you can help because you’ve dated men. And being one is waaaay different than dating one. Gays are no better off. I am a girl and I would never claim to understand any of the girls I’ve been with. We all need an outside perspective — and you’re a bit more qualified to give it. Get your Ann Landers on.
6. Maturity and Knowing Yourself
Again, this isn’t limited to people with fluid sexualities, but in general, people who have had to examine their sexual preferences (maybe more than the average straight person) have had to grow up a little faster. The coming out process, for anyone on the LGBTQ spectrum, ages you about 10 years. (Exaggeration, but it does!)
You really have to know yourself, and admit some hard truths to become fully okay with being a little outside the dictated norm. It’s not easy, even today with Neil Patrick Harris lighting the beacon of freedom for all of us. Struggling with same sex attraction sucked. Coming out probably sucked. But now this is your advantage: you are strong and you know you are strong. You are open with yourself. Maybe you understand what you want romantically and sexually moreso than other people. You are mature and you know yourself. Use that to be awesome.
Mostly, I just wanted to do a slightly more positive piece to offset those ubiquitous #bisexualproblems. This post doesn’t apply to everybody with a fluid sexuality, but in general, it’s not so bleak out there for us bisexual baddies! We’re great! We’re a little different! We have advantages and disadvantages! It’s like we’re the X-Men — except you know, slightly less gay.