Justin Hook

5. Crocs

The apartment you lived in your first year out of school, the walk-up with a view of the street.

4. Telling people you don’t watch TV So you’ve somehow managed to subsist wholly on Netflix, Hulu, HBO Go, and the entirety of the Internet? We’re so impressed!

Finding the right roommate is of utmost importance. You’ll be sharing a living space, a bedroom wall, and on one or two drunken nights whether you realize it or not, a toothbrush.

Sometimes you just want a friend who has incredibly low standards but no other place to go. Like the one over there who’s contemplating eating a pile of his own vomit.

But let’s just focus on the Rudolph story. His pronounced nose makes him unsuitable for Santa’s racially-pure sled team,

There’s no better way to show off your education than by peppering your dialog with a few impressive-sounding words.

As it turns out, their sweet potato fries aren’t actually made with the starchy vegetable — they’re just regular fries with added sugar and a spot of orange food coloring. Sweet, potato fries.