Latest Posts
Messages Left On Carly Rae Jepsen’s Voicemail
A Guy From 2003 Wakes Up Out Of A Coma

Can I use someone’s Motorola Razr? I need to leave a voicemail for my girlfriend on her landline.
What Women Want (Bugs Bunny Vs. Lennie)

I remember one time she came over and I had cleaned my room, lit a candle, and put on a particularly cheesy album to play to soundtrack my romance that night. And she laughed at it.
The Ballad Of Coffee Shops, Copy Editing, And Ignorant Paul

That hat cost $80. That man had $80 to spend on a hat. That man had a job and a lifestyle which afforded him the cost of a week’s worth of Paul’s groceries for something the man could wear on his head.
What Your Favorite HBO Show Says About You

You love sex but hate genitalia. It takes you 11 hours to tell a story that would take anybody else 10 minutes.
Broing Out With Hitler

Sometimes you orchestrate your will over others and take control of an entire country. And I mean, who HASN’T done that, am I right?