Preheat oven to 400 F. (Yes, you have an oven in your apartment.)

Such an obvious statement shouldn’t even have to be said… Right? Wrong. Way, way wrong.

8. Not being invited to a party is the second-worst thing that can possibly happen to you, after being invited to said party out of pity or obligation.

“Wait, does Katy Perry hate women?”

Speaking of relationships, you should get a boyfriend or a girlfriend, silly! What’ve you been doing all of this time being single and alone?!! Obviously your life’s boring. You have…

In the last season, Cory’s name will eventually be revealed as Cornelius. Cory “jokes” that he and Topanga will be keeping the awesome name train alive if they have children.…

15. Tell them a secret that you’ve never told anyone before and really trust that they’re going to keep it.

Everyone has acted crazy over a boyfriend/girlfriend before. Some just get crazier than others.

The fact that they’re not wasted. “I’m not drunk. Why? Do I seem like it? Am I being totally embarrassing? Answer me!!!!!”

Your checking account is not ready to handle buying brand-name cereal, so the idea of getting a place with a nursery and all of the things it would take to…

There’s something to be said for monogamy, for getting to know one body so well that you have it down to a science. With a single touch, you can send…

I love my family with all my heart. That being said, I don’t think I would ever hang out with them if we didn’t come from the same gene pool.

23. Although we think about Thanksgiving being an American holiday, our Canadian neighbors to the north also celebrate it, just on the second Monday in October.

I’m not going to lie to you: A lot of things are your fault.

I only call you names because I know you are in fact the opposite of these things, and therefore can withstand the absurd harshness of their use with complete indifference.

30. Carry a bag from a designer store as your everyday tote. I know your lunch is not from Yves Saint Laurent because those people don’t eat, so I don’t…

The creepy right-wing vibes notwithstanding, the actual plot of Twilight is downright bizarre. If aliens came down to Earth and found out we were obsessed with this franchise, they’d be…

19. You hope that karma is a real thing because you don’t have the energy to get revenge on wrongdoers.

You’re getting a vision again. Darn it! You know how the kid in The Sixth Sense could see dead people? Well, you have that too, except instead of dead people,…

3. There are a number of photos of you on the Internet doing “sexy” poses in skimpy outfits that are perhaps two to three sizes too small. In the photos…

Can sit in silence with you for hours at a time without feeling any pressure to talk. Ah, what a gift!

“I know you don’t know me but I’m kind of a big deal;)”

A decent chance that you will get scalding hot fries, the most punishingly beautiful sensation the body can experience.

Make your place of residence look like a home, not a lair. Milk crates and a tattered poster of a bikini-clad Playboy model do not a home make. Get thee…

Binge Youtube-ing. You know those lengthy video-browsing sessions you have when you’re supposed to be working? Well you’re not on the clock right now, watch whatever the hell you want…

Ryan Gosling and Sandra Bullock: They started dating around the time of filming 2002’s Murder By Numbers. Bullock’s friend Hugh Grant often referred to Bullock’s boyfriend as “The Child,” because…

11. He has a healthy relationship with going out, drinking, and socializing. He is neither completely dependent or absolutely uncomfortable with either of those things.

For a few months, we made the whole thing work. We set up times to call each other, I visited her, she visited me, it was fine.

At some point in every toxic relationship you’ve got to ask yourself, how much is too much?

Depressed people like to be as minimalist as possible on Facebook. They post sparingly and it’s usually only #dark quotes from poems or photos of Morrissey. Their profile pictures are…

As the only two stages of a relationship in the Disney universe are “just met thirty seconds ago” and “married in some elaborate, My Super Sweet 16-esque wedding,” you’re probably…

You said you didn’t like Woody Allen, he made Manhattan look too easy, so we saw the film with Dolly Parton instead. You thought the tree at Rockerfeller had too…

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a job secured yet, just move to New York. You’ll find something! It’s where everything is happening — you need to be there…

However, the weirdest casting in the show’s history has to go to former porn star and John Waters alum Traci Lords, who plays the interior designer for the Dragonfly Inn…

Guys, how adorable was it that adults thought Oregon Trail was educating us in the least bit?

Sweet Home Alabama smartly banks on Reese Witherspoon’s girl-next-door appeal and features a couple great scenes and zingers (e.g. “You brought a baby… into a bar?”)

The path to whatever your notion of success is will likely not be linear. Don’t take continuous personal growth for granted.

Oh my god, is there anything creepier — anything creepier in the entire universe — than calling your significant other “daddy?” No. The answer to that question is no.

1. Losing Motivation For The 22,467th time.

Become employed as the “Before” model in “Before and After” plastic surgery ads.

4. Having a complicated, bitter, occasionally joyous relationship with base makeup and concealer.

Like it’s some mystical new age therapy with intangible healing properties. It’s not Kaballah, it’s a food allergy. Are you into reiki, homeopathy, or the healing power of crystals, magnets…

You compose a text that’s talking crap on someone and accidentally send it to the person you’re trashing. Seriously, is there a more terrifying scenario out there for 20-somethings, other…

Despite the fact that you, too, used a fake ID just a few short years ago, you are filled with righteous indignation. “Wait your turn, you brats,” you long to…

Glitter keychains that said things like “100% Angel.” (Bonus points if they said “100% Devil” on the back.)

XXXtina’s music usually makes me cry tears of terror rather than genuine emotion but for her famous self-love anthem “Beautiful”, she actually manages to make a positive mark on my…

8. You’re more comfortable at a Renaissance fair full of fake knights than a nightclub full of fake Renaissance men.

I’m going to have my dream job and take meetings with people at chic places like Jamba Juice! Being in your twenties is about living out your dreams!!! Everyone finds…

Sabrina also gave David Lascher (TV Josh) a role on the show, as Sabrina’s boss and on-again-off-again boyfriend. His character’s name? Josh.

“I’m thowin’ on my Louboutins.” Jennifer Lopez, “Louboutins.”