“I don’t think any name is a 100% giveaway but I’ve met a lot of dumb Ashleys.”
“I went to high school with the Dark Knight Shooter James Holmes.”
“Good god, yes!”
As soon as I realized what I did, I screamed and ran to the bathroom and sobbed for like half an hour while he cleaned up.
“Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML.”
They look at you like you’re the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen, even though they’ve seen you every day for years.
“I realized that we weren’t on the same team anymore.”
Do not procrastinate career choices, always move towards something even if your unsure if it will work out. If you don’t continue moving forward you will always fall behind.
“I wanna tear all your skin off your body… then maybe you’ll be quiet.”