“If each dead person became a ghost, there’d be more than 100 billion of them haunting us all. Creepy, but cool.”

When you meet someone for the first time, realize that you know nothing about them. You see race, gender, age, clothes. Forget it. You know nothing.

“Eight years and this is the ending we get?!?”

The person that was cheated on is showered with cards and nail polish and cookie dough from her friends, friends that were once yours as well, but now will turn…

No one is pumped about moving back in with their parents. No one is like, “Sweet, after all of this time developing myself as an individual and getting to taste…

Bragging about being from the 90’s, dressing like you’re from the 80’s and listening to music from the 70’s.

Briefly, you’ll feel like the world is more than manageable; it’s easily conquerable.

College — like anything else in life — sucks sometimes. Brace yourself and prepare with a list of the 10 worst experiences you will face during college:

I’ll respect your background if you respect mine.

Make a pact with your friends to never force each other into ugly/unflattering bridesmaids dresses.

26. You’ve never driven an ambulance to the hospital emergency room, but you’ve tried to get chocolate from the grocery store to your home before it melts in an Arizona…

39. If you were to take a shot every time you or your friends say the word “problematic,” you would always be shitfaced.

Pumpkin Spice & Cider vs. Eggnog & Hot Chocolate

You don’t know if you’re going to be able to handle them both, if you’re honest with yourself.

1. Bathe Yourself In Baby Powder

You are now going to live in perpetual fear of running into them in real life, and in the uncertainty of whether they saw your request or not.

Bald people are superheroes.

The most insecure dudes I know can’t stop telling everyone about how many girls they’re hooking up with, planning on hooking up with, totally wanted by, etc.

My friend used to put “petroleum transfer specialist at British Petroleum” on his resume. In reality, he pumped gas at an BP gas station.

Different scenarios, different sentiments.

Because it really is the flower headband that draws you in first, don’t you think? That, or the twinkle in their gold Tory Burch pendant.

Seth MacFarlane doesn’t hate racism. Rest assured, America: Seth MacFarlane hates you.

If any of the above describes you–and if you just so happened to have just purchased a bunch of cute, autumn-minded outfits–you may be suffering from CFD. #DontFallForFall.