1. He takes you to get sushi for dinner, during which he makes you laugh so hard that you snort soy sauce out of your nose — a gaffe that he finds endearing rather than repulsive. He even offers to help you wipe off your face.
2. He has an extensive collection of sweatshirts — from which you can borrow, wear, and never return. That soft, gray hoodie reppin’ Jericho High’s 2009 Men’s Soccer Team? Yeah, he’s never going to see that again…
3. He has a profound understanding of personal hygiene and social norms. This means that he always leaves the room to disperse flatulence, especially if he had Taco Bell for lunch that day.
4. He is a Miami Heat fan.
5. He might have a job. He might pay his own rent. He might own a K-Cup maker. He might even have a 401k, but, by Golly, he still finds fart jokes funny.
6. He wears socks with his boat shoes so that they don’t smell too much when he takes them off. He does this, despite the very real threat of developing trench foot, as a courtesy to his friends.
7. He didn’t freak out when you discovered his secret Pinterest account.
8. Not only does he happily watch Girls with you, but he also insists that you two do so as a couple’s bonding exercise…and he gets mad if you watch an episode without him or suggest watching Ice Road Truckers instead.
9. He ate all of the sugar cookies you made for him — even though they were pink, heart-shaped, and gluten-free. That’s commitment.
10. He has never, ever used the phrase “dope sauce.” Actually, he has never added “sauce” to the end of any phrase. Weak sauce? Awesome sauce? Chili sauce? Excellent sauce? Sriracha sauce? What does it all mean?
11. He only yelped moderately loudly when you crawled into bed next to him one morning with a mug of pipin’ hot coffee, which you accidentally spilled all over his face.
12. He has never worn a fedora in his life, but he occasionally rocks a cardigan better than Mr. Rogers himself.
13. He only uses hashtags #ironically.
14. His eye only twitches a few times when you introduce him to your friends as your “boyf” and ask him to take approximately 47 photos with you in the same position…so, you can, you know, upload the one where your Skinny Arm looks the skinniest to Instagram.
15. He watches the inane Swedish Youtube videos that you send him regularly…like this lil’ piece of genius, made by the creators of “What Does the Fox Say?”
16. He really knows how to work a chinstrap. Like a #man.
17. He has luscious, flowing locks, and he even remembers to deep condition it every other Tuesday.
18. He doesn’t mind sitting next to you on the couch in silence as you finish your 12th consecutive game of Flappy Bird.
19. He tries to get to know your friends because he knows that they matter to you. This entails being nice to them, even when they do things that are frustrating — like eating the leftover burrito he was saving for breakfast.