5. “Captain Phillips.”

When I first started, I figured I could control it; and at the beginning I could.

We all have crosses to bear, don’t we?

I’m not one of those people who try to be poor to relate to people. I think that’s honestly really disgusting behavior, it’s as if you’re saying that you have…

If it’s a device, delete it.

I’m going to spend the night tanning, exfoliating and then staring at myself hatefully in the mirror before treating myself to a Skinny Girl margarita and crying myself to sleep.

What happened guys? You used to be cool.

Why the hullabaloo over my $300 anti-aging neck moisturizer?? Just kidding. (Or am I?)

Live human contact is slowly becoming a thing of the past. It’s gotten to the point where when someone calls me (instead of sending me a text), I think something…

Fanny. Sorry but that word does not mean butt. It means vagina.

12. Go on a long ass drive alone. Play all your favorite songs and coast with one hand out the window as you rip past.

Chances are if you’re reading this, then you’re not in middle school anymore. If you are, then stop reading right now because you must preserve your reputation for “coolness.”

12. The innocent hair twirl

So you’ve decided to do what everyone else is doing and buy a longboard to cruise around town. But why are you not getting respect from real skaters, or what…

7. You have walked into things, people, parked and or moving cars while staring down at your phone.

No but like seriously, can you not? I literally just got a pap smear and I realllllllly don’t want to go back to the gyno, at least not ’til I’m…

Recover from your disappointment with the ‘Dexter’ finale by rebounding with something new. You need that in your life.

2. The grass is always greener on the other side.

I do not use seat covers in public bathrooms.

9. To some degree worriers are warriors, battling & staving off their constant flow of unpleasant thoughts and concerns as they try to manage a somewhat normal day.

2. You make strangers guess your ethnicity for your entertainment

It happens all the time: when I go out to a club, party, bar, or any event where alcohol is present and mention I don’t drink, people seem to take…

If you’re just on the cusp of becoming a 20-something, or currently a 20-something, or even past being a 20-something, take the time to appreciate some words of wisdom left…

23. Troll 2.

I have a close friend who in one week went from being a homeless couch-surfing fitness instructor to living in a fabulous apartment near the beach and driving a Porsche…

Getting the very last adorable sale item, which is both perfectly your size and completely unscathed by gross makeup stains from a billion girls trying it on before you.

“Kiss The Rain” by Billie Myers

13. Your to-do lists are all like “we’re gonna do all this great stuff this week!” Tuesday is all like “I’m tired.”

Stop it with the snide remarks. Teaching is not babysitting.

That people can think in languages other than my native one.

A man named William Morgan was rejected from the masons in the 1800s. He pitched and received a large advance to then publish a book revealing their secrets. He disappeared…

Don’t refuse the tea. It’s rude.

“Are you gay?” No. You’re just single. You’re glad to know people think you are though.

15. If you’re driving in D.C. please make sure there’s ample amount of air in your tires, potholes will tear your wheels apart.

In 2013, we have our Channing Tatums and our Zac Efrons, but nothing we will ever produce can hold a candle to Montgomery Clift and James Dean. They just don’t…

Upon being introduced to a friend of a friend–and your connector friend leaves to go to the bathroom–it’s time for a full-on panic.

Betsy Ross had girls sleep with enemies during the revolutionary war to gain intel. (Pretty much ran a brothel).