1. The “I Will Never Love Again” Breakup
You are head over heels in love but have only experienced one another. You’re breaking up to see what else is out there. After a few months of him calling you and you trying desperately to fish in the sea of men, you hear that he has moved on and officially named someone else his girlfriend. You are absolutely devastated that he moved on without you, and the post breakup trauma begins despite knowing that you initiated the breakup in the first place.
Eventually, you’ll have read all the breakup books, watched all the right movies and you’ve been seeing your shrink for the past few months, years, whatever. You finally accept the breakup for what it was, him for who he is, you for what you need, want and deserve. You are free to move forward.
2. The “Love Does Not Conquer All” Breakup
You’ve known each other for a few years and either always had a crush on him, or you’ve done the on and off thing for awhile. You finally make it happen and both give this relationship your all. The love is wonderful, deep, meaningful and passionate (as is the sex) and the honeymoon phase is beautiful. Sooner than later, the reasons you were “on and off” in the first place catch up to you. The relationship becomes exhausting. You’re distraught knowing that you both really want it to work but it just doesn’t. You had thought this was the kind of passion you were supposed to feel, and therefore, as love works, it was supposed to conquer all. This breakup involves no anger, no confusion. You both cry that it has to end. Neither of you want to let go. You never get angry, or hate him. Instead, you’re just sad at losing your best friend. You smile when you hear he’s doing well. You don’t secretly wish you’d run into him because you know you need the space to separate the lightening bolts that stand between you. You feel a longing for him, but it’s mostly a longing for someone to share your life with. He even contacts you one day months down the line, and you have a brief, yet meaningful conversation about your mutual respect and longing for one another, while recognizing the impossibility of existing within one another’s lives romantically. One day you might even be friends.
3. The “I’ve Met Someone New” Breakup
You met, he courted and you began dating all before you were officially broken up with your last boyfriend. You didn’t cheat on him, physically at least, and truth is you’ve known for a long time that the breakup was coming. That someone new coming into the picture has lessened the loss and only strengthened your certainty that it’s time to leave the ex in the past. Moving on this quickly doesn’t mean you never loved him, or that you no longer care about him, just that you’ve found someone else who was able to show you what was missing before. The pain may be stronger for your ex in this breakup, but he knows it was inevitable and for the best nonetheless. You go your separate ways and truly have no reservations, doubts or sadness about leaving behind your old friend and lover. You know you both will be much better off without the other.
4. The “I Like You So Much It Scares Me” Breakup
Speaks for itself.
The dumper has no balls to speak the truth. Dumper cannot seem to find the courage to face the significant other and say ‘this isn’t working for me anymore’, or ‘I don’t like you enough to date you or work through our issues’. Sleazy, unfair, and cowardly is what this breakup feels like. Do you think it’s happened to me?
Regardless of the breakup type you experience, time will allow you to get through all of them. From the most painful breakup to the easiest, you will love someone else again and one day, who knows, you might even have to prepare yourself for when you find the person you never end up breaking up with.