14 Valley Girl Insults From The 1980’s We Should Like, Totally Bring Back

Valley Girl

1. “Grody”

Is there a word that is more fun to say than grody? I feel it’s onomotopea. You just know that it’s describing a dirty, disgusting thing.

2. “Bag your face”

This is the 80’s version of “shut up” but it’s much more fun. Who wants someone you’re annoyed with to simply stop talking when you can imaging them forcibly suffocating on a bag?

3. “Barf me out”

Another phrase that illicit colorful imagery in our minds. This means that something is disgusting or stupid or uncool. If in the early 2000’s Paris Hilton would have said “that’s not hot” you can bet that a valley girl would have said “barf me out.”

4. “Take a chill pill”

I like this one because we now live in a world where most people have Ativan prescriptions so taking a chill pill is a literal option.

Valley Girl
Valley Girl

5. “Doy”

Okay so we still say “duh” in 2014–but not enough! Doy is just more fun to say than duh, and the mispronunciation adds to the effect of shooting down whatever unintelligent person you are speaking to.

6. “Noid”

This is a term for a geek. Please start using it again immediately. For ultimate return on investment, try “noid to the max.”

7. Psych!”

The primary reason psych should be a thing again is because I imagine the Vine community would go to town with it, create hundreds of funny Vines, and we would all laugh and be happier as a culture.

8. “Gag me with a spoon”

Another perfect slang word for being disgusted or unimpressed. They weren’t messing around with passive non interest in the 80’s! If you hated something, you hated it enough to want to make yourself (well metaphorically) physically sick.

9. “Barf bag”

“Lebron James is such a barf bag.” Like it’s modern day progeny, douche bag, this insult is extremely satisfying. Sometimes you need the cathartic release of telling an obnoxious person they remind you of a literal bag of semi-digested food and bile.

10. “Bogus”

In the internet age there’s so much misinformation constantly floating around that “that’s so bogus” really needs to make a come back. I could see an entire Twitter account being dedicated to total bogus ‘news’ stories.

11. “Dickweed”

LOL.

12. “Penis-breath”

This is so much funnier than “cock sucker,” yes?

13. “In another life”

This one goes out to all you people who HATE saying the word no. Opt out!

14. “What’s your damage?”

This line from Heathers is forever in style and forever perfect. TC mark

I asked women to be honest about their Instagram photos

“The essays in this book are short and sweet, and incredible. Love love loved this.” — Alex

“I’m so in love with this book! It’s so moving and some of the stories bring me to tears not because it’s sad, but because it’s relatable and shows that we’re not alone.” — Kendra

This is the reality of Instagram...

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