3. There are a number of photos of you on the Internet doing “sexy” poses in skimpy outfits that are perhaps two to three sizes too small. In the photos…

Can sit in silence with you for hours at a time without feeling any pressure to talk. Ah, what a gift!

“I know you don’t know me but I’m kind of a big deal;)”

A decent chance that you will get scalding hot fries, the most punishingly beautiful sensation the body can experience.

Make your place of residence look like a home, not a lair. Milk crates and a tattered poster of a bikini-clad Playboy model do not a home make. Get thee…

Binge Youtube-ing. You know those lengthy video-browsing sessions you have when you’re supposed to be working? Well you’re not on the clock right now, watch whatever the hell you want…

Ryan Gosling and Sandra Bullock: They started dating around the time of filming 2002’s Murder By Numbers. Bullock’s friend Hugh Grant often referred to Bullock’s boyfriend as “The Child,” because…

11. He has a healthy relationship with going out, drinking, and socializing. He is neither completely dependent or absolutely uncomfortable with either of those things.

For a few months, we made the whole thing work. We set up times to call each other, I visited her, she visited me, it was fine.

At some point in every toxic relationship you’ve got to ask yourself, how much is too much?

Depressed people like to be as minimalist as possible on Facebook. They post sparingly and it’s usually only #dark quotes from poems or photos of Morrissey. Their profile pictures are…

As the only two stages of a relationship in the Disney universe are “just met thirty seconds ago” and “married in some elaborate, My Super Sweet 16-esque wedding,” you’re probably…

You said you didn’t like Woody Allen, he made Manhattan look too easy, so we saw the film with Dolly Parton instead. You thought the tree at Rockerfeller had too…

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a job secured yet, just move to New York. You’ll find something! It’s where everything is happening — you need to be there…

However, the weirdest casting in the show’s history has to go to former porn star and John Waters alum Traci Lords, who plays the interior designer for the Dragonfly Inn…

Guys, how adorable was it that adults thought Oregon Trail was educating us in the least bit?

Sweet Home Alabama smartly banks on Reese Witherspoon’s girl-next-door appeal and features a couple great scenes and zingers (e.g. “You brought a baby… into a bar?”)

The path to whatever your notion of success is will likely not be linear. Don’t take continuous personal growth for granted.

Oh my god, is there anything creepier — anything creepier in the entire universe — than calling your significant other “daddy?” No. The answer to that question is no.

1. Losing Motivation For The 22,467th time.

Become employed as the “Before” model in “Before and After” plastic surgery ads.

4. Having a complicated, bitter, occasionally joyous relationship with base makeup and concealer.

Like it’s some mystical new age therapy with intangible healing properties. It’s not Kaballah, it’s a food allergy. Are you into reiki, homeopathy, or the healing power of crystals, magnets…

You compose a text that’s talking crap on someone and accidentally send it to the person you’re trashing. Seriously, is there a more terrifying scenario out there for 20-somethings, other…

Despite the fact that you, too, used a fake ID just a few short years ago, you are filled with righteous indignation. “Wait your turn, you brats,” you long to…

Glitter keychains that said things like “100% Angel.” (Bonus points if they said “100% Devil” on the back.)

XXXtina’s music usually makes me cry tears of terror rather than genuine emotion but for her famous self-love anthem “Beautiful”, she actually manages to make a positive mark on my…

8. You’re more comfortable at a Renaissance fair full of fake knights than a nightclub full of fake Renaissance men.

I’m going to have my dream job and take meetings with people at chic places like Jamba Juice! Being in your twenties is about living out your dreams!!! Everyone finds…

Sabrina also gave David Lascher (TV Josh) a role on the show, as Sabrina’s boss and on-again-off-again boyfriend. His character’s name? Josh.

“I’m thowin’ on my Louboutins.” Jennifer Lopez, “Louboutins.”

Enjoy the brief bouts of unfulfilling coitus that pepper your life, occasionally bookended by some of the most forced, exasperated cuddling in the world.

Eat, Pray, Love AKA The Basic Bitch Bible changed your life. One day, when you find yourself trapped in a loveless marriage to a rich man in Connecticut, you’re going…

There’s three types of freshman journalism majors: ones who want to be Carrie Bradshaw, ones who want to write for Rolling Stone, and ones who want to be Woodward and…

Do not drink alone if you are within a 5-mile radius of a McDonald’s, Domino’s, White Castle, or KFC.

I know you were born with a vagina and everything, and so you think that’s enough to make you a woman. But guess what? No it’s not!

They have awkward arbitrary seating arrangements. Maybe you got stuck sitting next to that girl you hooked up with once in college, and she was all “Sooo, it’s nice to…

20. Hitting on the hot 20 something without being the creepy old daddy nobody wants to talk to.

To someone you want to hook up with: “just so there’s no confusion, you can have sex with me whenever you want. like legit whenever. just come over. ;) ;)…

“We are birds, and birds can fly.”

People sometimes cut their ex’s out of their lives, even when they’ve been together for years. And that’s probably the key reason your best friend is your soul mate. For…

Responding to people who text you as promptly as you can, within reason. No one likes to be left hanging on a “what’s up” for three hours.

13. Walking through a spider web.

We can’t split up. It’s only three a.m.. Only the elderly and the terminally bogus go home at this geriatric hour.

Just because something looks pretty hanging in your closet doesn’t mean it looks pretty on you. You know it. I know it.

A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry…

The producers originally cast Amanda Seyfried as Cady, but Michaels felt she would be a better Karen.

Bubble bath with rose petals in the water and Sade on the iPod. Corny but efficient.

Everyone in the world has had diarrhea at some point.

You are not wearing the kinds of clothes you feel best in because you perceive them to be “not in style,” “not a good label,” or “not meant for someone…