The absence of BYOB on your event invitation is the chicest status symbol of our time.

As seen on 16 and Pregnant & Teen Mom.

Your long-term relationships have ended because you felt that you needed to break free and be on your own for a while, but you quickly followed them up with a…

18. Happy people are not the ones who have it all and do not suffer.

The comfort with your appearance to be naked, makeup-free, and completely casual without feeling like you want to peel your skin off every time your significant other sees you in…

You have to give yourself enough room to grow into who you are and then not be so attached to it that you won’t let yourself become who you’re going…

2. Duck tape your mind’s mouth shut.

Reading must become as natural as eating and breathing to you. It’s not something you do because you feel like it, but because it’s a reflex, a default.

4. Tai: Why should I listen to you, anyway? You’re a virgin who can’t drive. Cher: That was way harsh, Tai.

In short, our unconscious is wired to seek out members of the opposite sex who it believes will fulfill our unfulfilled emotional needs, to fill in the gaps of the…

Unless you are a sex worker and they have paid you, this is not your job.

4. Share this article on a social network in the hopes that they’ll see it and recognize that it’s in regards to them.

You know it’s bad when you can’t eat dinner together.

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. -Hillary Clinton

Handjob in the back of a cop car

Apparently, ASMR stands for “Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.” This “response” can basically be described as “brain tingles,” something that only some people can experience.

People think about their exes in bed sometimes, including with you. Including about that ex you are really threatened by and worry that they might still have feelings for.

2) Never underestimate the power of an amazing outfit.

Now your relationship is less like a delicate flower and more like some kind of Cold War-era bunker, ready to withstand literally anything that life will throw at it.

You are a person, not a product – if it feels like you’re constantly giving an infomercial type sales pitch to somebody so they’ll understand your worth, there’s a problem…

5. Settling significant decisions via Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Don’t tell me about your day. Don’t ask about mine.

Do not give an utterly unpronounceable spelling to a well-known name.

You go, girl, you did what we never could. And then put it on the internet.

I’d give everything away to be with someone, allow myself to be taken advantage of, because I haven’t figured out how just being close to someone isn’t enough.

Clearly you’re not delivery, DiGiorno, who did you think you had fooled?

I always wonder why adventure and career development and changing my mind can’t occur simultaneously with a fulfilling relationship. I always wonder why we look with a mixture of pity…

I have been selling my worn underwear online for about six months. Every week, I list a few items on a well-known auction site which definitely does not condone (or…

Michael Cunningham, marry me. Seriously.

You are a square peg. He is a round hole. Why are you trying to make your lives fit when they are different shapes?

From Ernest Hemingway to LMFAO.

Peace of mind is so awesome.

To garner key influencers and “tastemakers,” Adidas proposed a challenge.

“I had lime. green. overalls.”

In second grade I discovered that body hair on women is considered undesirable in the United States.

“I used to be self conscious about my height, but then I thought, F that, I’m Harry Potter” — Daniel Radcliffe.

On the plus side, Apple Martin won’t have the dumbest name at the playdate anymore.

If the person is deceased, are they flirting? Although all scientific, medical, and legal knowledge points to “no,” 4 out of 5 Insane Clown Posse Juggalos say “yes.”

Being able to tell the difference between when a friend is joking around about something, and when they are actually trying to talk about something really serious that they are…

Join Shiner and Vice this Saturday for complimentary food and beer celebrating Shiner’s arrival in New York!

You’re going to become that person who promises to go out to lunch with your friend and then end up canceling 20 minutes before because your bed was just so…

If you like hip hop, this one’s for you.

So… in an effort to help both sides of this divide, I brainstormed up a list of all the places my straight single guy friends and I spend time.

I don’t know how people get others to fall in love with them because whenever I have a crush on someone, I am an absolute idiot. I am the worst…

We often leave relationships wondering if we were ever really loved at all, and it’s a terrible feeling. You can stop that kind of pain in your own relationships if…

Enjoy long Sunday mornings without children jumping on your bed to wake you up at the crack of dawn to make them breakfast.

Follow me on this mystical journey through all things vodka cranberry, too-tight Forever 21 dresses, and miming our way over the N-word in our favorite rap song. For it is…

Say what you are saying as simply as possible. Your goal isn’t to show the other person how smart you are, it’s to convince the other person to see things…

Close your eyes and imagine the most delicious food you can think of. Fry it and put it on a stick and you can buy it at the state fair.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.