5. Scrolling down so, so far to reach your year of birth when filling out forms online.

Get plastic surgery.

Your body is a vessel for your experience, and you will be trapped until you realize that what the vessel looks like is not as important as what it can…

It’s a non-aggressive word: “cuddling.” But make no mistake. It can be as much of an art as the act of sex itself, whether you are Little or Big Spoon.

While A was getting all lovey dovey I kept my distance and met X. X blew my mind too.

I was a junior when I received the call from my mom. She told me that my sister was having nightmares and that they were about my grandfather.

Outsource the most taxing chore of our time (deciding what to stream tonight) to this infographic.

You went to a liberal arts college and majored in something that people make jokes about.

4. A guy I’d gone on several dates with stopped contacting me after going to my birthday party. Five days later, I text a “?” and eventually, “Is this over?”…

“We both have pasts,” he said. “The difference is that you broadcast yours.”

I am not good at taking criticism. I mean, to be fair, I don’t know if anyone really is.

4. When they don’t call you back, it tortures you.

We always say, “I want to accomplish XYZ before I turn 30.” If you end up making it, that’s awesome. But why is “before 30” always the benchmark?

This “life” business is a constant evolution, and if you don’t pull art and love and writing and everything else that’s beautiful out of yourself it will simply pass and…

These women think everything is wack. “How about this lovely 80 degree weather today?” “This is wack, why these girls think it’s ok to be wearing their open toes?!”

The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest started on this day in 1916 as a means to settle a dispute among immigrants as to who was the most patriotic.

Chick lit, makeup, pedicures, long bubble baths—these are some of the best parts about being alive. No one questions my manhood because I like to feel good and indulge in…

4. Whenever there’s a bug in my personal bubble.

Bradley Cooper, bootleg Matthew McConaughey is what you are.

From French art films to ‘Clueless’ to a Woody Allen classic, here are ones you should make time to watch.

1. Shorter restroom lines.

The Indonesian Mimic Octopus can not only change colours, but will mimic the shapes of other animals, like the flounder, poisonous lion fish, and sea snakes.

8. Try not to compare him to past relationships. Your ex is your ex for a reason.

Whenever I’m not unsure about the direction my life is going, I simply sign on to Facebook, look at a bunch of pictures, and read a bunch of statuses from…

12. You don’t really express your feelings all that well. You expect people to know and understand how you feel already, and this has been a problem in at least…

1. Ramen 2.0

4. You go through a #dark mental space

21. That you are going to get closer to the undergraduates than you think…!

Being in love is a full-time job, and a lot of other parts of your life are going to have to take a big hit in terms of time commitment…

Your ex is absolutely not an actual crazy person, and if she is, you should probably think of a kinder way to say it.

You could work your entire life to be happy and you will still never attain the level of unadulterated bliss a dog feels when you merely walk in the door.

How many among us have met a Marxist and wondered, with no real sense of how to approach this very important question, ‘should I date this Marxist?’

There are few things that come without pros and cons, things you lose while you gain, and choices that leave other avenues unexplored.

Steve Buscemi’s resemblance to a meth addict is incontestable, but his eyes man, his eyes.

All lesbians keep short fingernails.

8. When you spend hours in bed on Saturday night in a pool of potato chips, Coca-Cola and Sour Patch Kids, binge-watching your favorite Netflix shows. The world feels right.

If promoting God’s law means taking a chubby, Tony Perkins will suck it up.

Public Relations: In addition to only being allowed to write emails in all caps, you are required to constantly attend events that specialize in mid-level dudes cheating on their girlfriends…

Yet despite these hurdles, I have to say the worst stage of puberty was, without a doubt, the sprouting of those pesky pubes.

Calling a book a “beach read” can be a sort of subtle insult, like telling someone that their shirt seems a little tight or they look beautiful when they wear…

New York is not what everyone says it is. It’s not the “Greatest City in the World” and I didn’t immediately want to move here. I didn’t change my perspective…

26. Elle: This is going to be just like senior year, only funner!

13) Waking up earlier than expected, having a bowl of cereal and going back to bed. Laziness is so awesome.

It’s a rookie mistake to stand directly up from any chair not made of an absorbent material during swamp ass season.

11. When you pee, aim for the middle of the toilet bowl to maximize loudness and assert dominance.

Fact: I only have Twitter just to follow Mindy Kaling.

Soon I discovered the ambitious guy I first met was just someone totally and completely lost, a victim of overparenting and privilege.

My grandfather put it to me this way: If a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys,…

It takes so long for “No” to really mean something. We are ultimately creatures who want to please, and be accepted, and make one another comfortable.

They say love is blind but really, who are we kidding?