13. Sounds like a terrible place to work

I worked at a shitty not-chain burger shop off of a highway in high school. A lot of the customers were horrible, and so was the owner/manager.

1. A hobo comes in, and orders a burger. pays, and walks out of the store. He always has some scam going and constantly tries to con food out of us. He has money, but just loves stealing/scamming. He lets it sit in the hot table for like a half hour, and comes back. “I DIDN’T ORDER IT WITH FUCKING MAYO, I’M ALLERGIC TO MAYO!” He throws the now rock hard burger in my face so hard it gives me a black eye. My boss chases him out of the store trying to beat the shit out of him. He showed up a few days later and tried to pull another scam then freaked out on us. Ad infinium. He was a source of lots of lulz and wtf moments. Dude was like team rocket, He would NOT give up. And he looked like a cartoon hobo. Like 5 feet tall, huge sailor beard, fishermans hat bent up in the front, army backpack with tools and shit hanging off, etc.

2. A prostitute comes in from one of the nearby motels. She orders a strawberry shake, and takes it in to the bathroom. She’s in there for like a half hour. We don’t see her leave, but someone screams and we check the bathroom. It’s COVERED in strawberry shake and blood. Even the ceiling. I clock out and fucking walk. Asshole boss’ asshole wife cleans it all up.

3. Weird disgusting guy comes in and rants about boobs and porn and disgusting shit constantly. I mean like REALLY disgusting like, “Have you ever seen a really good rimjob, like a REALLY good one?” type shit in front of senior citizens and four year olds. It’s like a fucking sketch comedy setup. Pisses off all the other customers. You can never call him out. He always orders like $90 of our nasty food. Always talks about how hot his wife and daughters are in a really gross way. He’s overweight, balding with a ponytail, greasy, etc. He looks almost just like that “basement dweller” macro and literally drives one of those 70s vans with the unicorns on the side and shit. can’t make this up. One day he comes in with his family, and his wife looks like a model and so does his daughter and son, and they’re all nicely dressed. Popped the monocle out of my asshole. And of course, they all laugh and play along with his nasty shit. o_o

There’s way, way more. I could go on forever. Fights broke out in the lobby a few times, juggalos smoked a blunt in a parking space while the cops were nearby, another weird prostitute stole the tip jar that had like $4 in it and actually ran off like zoidberg style making weird noises, fucked up drug dealers, nasty hobos and shit fucking in the bathrooms, etc.