Holly Riordan

“I picked it up and realized it was a tongue. A human tongue.”

If you use big words without throwing in three “likes” per sentence, he’s going to find your intelligence attractive.

Care about someone other than yourself.

Do you think about me each night as you’re fading into your dreams or am I your shooting star, only skimming your thoughts on special occasions?

I want to know what it feels like to patiently wait for a text. To know that it’s going to come, even if it takes a full hour to get to me. To be freak-out-free, because I don’t have any doubt in my mind that he’s thinking of me, that he’ll talk to me the second that he gets the chance.

Don’t make her feel like a toy. Like she’s being used. Make it clear that you care about her and her orgasm.

You know how some people never stop talking about their boyfriends? You’re like that, except with work. You’re always ranting or bragging or whining about it.

You’re ready to get serious. You’re done with casual sex. You’re ready to move in with someone. Ready to wake up next to someone. Ready to start your life with someone.

“He was raping his sister and then he got her pregnant. They did DNA testing to confirm it was his when the baby was born.”

“Landed on moon. It’s hatching.”

You get annoyed when a third person interrupts your conversation. You’d rather talk to him one-on-one.

Never have I ever found a serial killer (or any other real life criminal) attractive.

Date the guy that buys you shampoo and a toothbrush, so you’re more comfortable when you stay the night. The guy that makes his house feel like home to you.

Leos like attention, so tell them that you saw something that reminded you of them. It doesn’t matter if it was a movie trailer, a certain candy, or a pair of shoes. They’ll find it sweet that you thought of them.

I want to hear what you have to say when your words fall from your lips without being filtered through your mind. When you’re uninhibited. When you’re completely and utterly honest.

Don’t let me know that you sit up in bed at night, wondering how I’ve been doing. Don’t let me know that you’ve drafted hundreds of texts that you’ve never sent out to me. Don’t let me know that you’ve started drinking more in the hopes of wiping the taste of my lips off of you.

Stay up all night to text you. If she falls asleep mid-conversation, it’s actually a good sign. It means she didn’t want to say goodbye.

Date the man that calms you down when you scream at an inanimate object, like your phone or computer, instead of laughing at you for getting upset over something so silly.