Here Is Your Bullshit Horoscope For December 2016 Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

INFJ: Lately you’ve been feeling out of sync with some of the people you’re closest to, and you can’t figure out why.
INFJ: Lately you’ve been feeling out of sync with some of the people you’re closest to, and you can’t figure out why.
I wanted to keep you all for myself but your charm, your love, your time, and your effort belong to someone who will be able to give you the same and, hopefully, more for as long as it will take.
And guess what? My so-called enviable thigh gap and six pack weren’t the reason I wasn’t able to get on the flight.
“Guide us in. Our dicks feel sensations differently than our fingers do and we may not know we’re pushing against something that’s not an opening. We like being guided in.”
You fell for me and I’m glad I held you. Picked you up. You were the source of my joy, my happiness. You lit up my world.
“80% of you being “the best she’s ever had” has nothing to do with penis size or technique, its all in her head and has to do with how amped she is to be having sex with you and how sexy she feels.”
If you were in a major accident, do you know without hesitation that your partner would be there to nurse you back to health?
Let 2017 be the year where you finally acknowledge how special you are. And no matter your relationship status, your income amount, the kind of car you drive in, the kind of home you live in and the kind of family you come from, you know in your heart that you are so incredibly worthy.
“I ran outside following the dog barking and saw him dragging my mom by her hair, I remember trying to be steady like I had been taught but I just fired over and over again.”
You’re scared of attachment. You settled for the comfort of being by yourself, you don’t approach people unless they do and you’re always very careful and guarded because you think people will eventually leave.
With you things aren’t forced, there aren’t moments I’m telling myself to enjoy, but moments I can’t get enough of.
I had a few friends over and we jumped into a game of Never Have I Ever. My soulmate was drunk enough to answer honestly. About how he’d had sex in a moving car before. About how he’d shoplifted before. And about how he’d shot someone before.