“All of a sudden I heard the most horrifying scream outside and my blood ran absolutely cold.”
I said, “we need to leave” and got back to the path. We were walking pretty quickly, but then we heard DISTINCT footsteps behind us.
“Americans greet each other in passing by saying, ‘How are you doing?’ without any care for a response.”
“I’m from Texas and travel to California for work. I was shocked by all the warning labels of everything that could give me cancer. The most surprising one was at Starbucks.”
Oh my God does this Doctor ever love popping pimples.
“Turning 33 soon. The main thing that has changed is the way the future looks and feels.”
An Atheist, a vegan, and a cross trainer walk into a bar. I know this because they told everyone who they were within 5 minutes.
Basically 12 reasons I will never have another roommate.