Latest From
Thought Catalog
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Things You Won't Do With Your Next Boyfriend
You will not call him ‘snooks’ or ‘snuggles’ or ‘scruffs’ or ‘stinky,’ you will not call him ‘bear’ or ‘boo’ because these names belonged to his predecessor, these names belonged…
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Common Pitfalls To Avoid On Craigslist Personals
Some of us are here looking for love. Some of us are here looking for sex. Some of us are here looking for a simple date, a way to pass…
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The Various Degrees Of Being "Over" Your Ex
You don’t love the idea of them moving on, but you’ve started talking about how miserable their next significant other will be as opposed to thinking you’re going to get…
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The 10 Worst Rap Lyrics Of All Time
Here, in no particular order, the wordsmiths and their craft that should probably not get their rapper license renewed this year.
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Why You Can't Make Your Ex Fall In Love With You Again
You learn a lot about people and their ability to disengage when you get your heartbroken. But I would venture to say that you learn even more when you break…
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The Terrifying Reality Of Asthma
As Shadid was about to meet his end via a seizure of the breathing passages, I was rummaging through various bar couches and lost-and-found bins, hoping someone, somewhere, had found…
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How To Ruin Your Life In 14 Minutes
In today’s world, thanks to YouTube and Internet search engines, their remarks will be remembered by thousands if not millions of people for the rest of their lives — and…
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The First Time You See Your Ex After The Breakup
Wow, oh wow, isn’t it weird when someone is your everything and then becomes a nothing? Shocker. Electrocuted. To be fair, you knew what you were getting yourself into when…
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Getting Screwed Over By Someone You Love
I don’t mean to paint a bleak picture of humanity. Just because someone screws you over doesn’t mean the whole world is out to get you. Adopting a hard shell…
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Losing A Best Friend
It’s a specific kind of loneliness that hits you like a wave of nausea. When the two of you are having a beer and you realize that you have both…
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No Wonder The Kids Today Are So Anxious
The social web is a kind of always on camera, ceaselessly capturing text and image — capturing imprints of ourselves — our likes and dislikes, the pages we view and…
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Good Sex Versus Bad Sex
Bad sex doesn’t become Bad Sex until you’ve actually had good sex. In fact, you could live your entire life thinking you were having the most mind-blowing sex until you…
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Things I Learned When I Was Taking A Lot Of Drugs
Roxicodone (Roxy, for short) comes in tiny blue pills. So tiny, in fact, that I would often lose them in my room and not find it until weeks later. Misplacing…
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104 Ways To Break The Ice
So I’ve never once had a relationship begin with something grand and romantic, like I came to expect from the movies, and I figured the same was true for most…
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Do Not Send This Text
Listen, I want you to truly appreciate my sustained effort to pretend to be a reasonable human being. I’ve gone days without texting you, multiple days without texting you, three…
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The 5 Most Important Pieces Of Relationship Advice
Don’t ever forget that the relationship you’re in is one you’ve chosen to be in, one that defines part of your life, for a week or a month, ten years,…
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14 Reasons I Know It's Not Going To Work Out With Him
He has really nice abs. But I only know because he’s shirtless in four of his seven profile pictures.
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10 Reasons Not To Go Out This Weekend
This weekend, when one of your friends texts you with promises of glory, of true love, and the possibility of dollar domestics — you say no. You say no, you…
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5 Embarrassing Social Blunders You Have Maybe Made
Sometimes, when in situations like these, you find yourself in a conversation where the rules are that you have to keep making up these clever little witticisms to stay in…
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My Stint Working At A Massage Parlor
The listing didn’t have an exorbitant number of exclamation points or asterisks, which was a pretty good sign. I mean, it wasn’t my first choice. But when you have no…
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The Joy Of Thinking (Differently)
The universe becomes uncanny at its core, always shifting and realigning depending on how you look at it.
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6 Ways To Win Over Your Muslim Mother-In-Law
As confident and crisp as this how-to title sounds, what I impart below is not boastful advice based on personal success, but rather lessons learned from a less than stellar…
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Slut-Shaming In Advertising (But Not Really)
The art director didn’t invent a negative connotation for this ad, your brain did. Take responsibility for that, if you’re upset about what you’re seeing.
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What Your Relationship Status Says About You
Regular sexual intercourse two or three times a week, usually Thursday nights after The Office and on the weekend; Saturday date night dinner at ethnic fusion restaurant whose assimilation of…
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How Facebook Has Changed The Way Young Girls View Themselves
I’m not making any argument for or against Facebook, or debating how much exposure to creating various profiles online should be deemed appropriate, but I have noticed that, in any…
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Replacements For The Phrase "I Love You"
So, though they may be a bit cumbersome, I propose a few new terms that more succinctly get to the heart of the matter. This, my friends, is true love.
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Why You Shouldn't Text That Jerk Who Hasn't Called You Back
So it’s been a week since he left you at your doorstep with an, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” and all you want to do is give that jerk a piece…
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5 Things Men Are Not Allowed To Wear
If you are the kind of man who, on his way out for a night on the town or an afternoon with friends, decides to finish his otherwise respectable outfit…
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Seven Sleepwalking Stories
I woke up the next morning on a couch in the laundry room, three floors down from where I lived. I was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs.
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I Am So Handsome
I feel sorry for ugly people. Actually, that’s not true, but it’s a thought I deliberately generate sometimes in order to feel like I’m a good and caring person.
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How To Be Emotionally Stable Without Getting Bored
Stop checking your email because you know it will just be your friends asking you if you’re okay, and you don’t want to admit that you really aren’t but know…
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Your Friends Can Abuse You, Too
People have very clear ideas on what abuse is. Abuse is physical, or abuse is between man and woman, or abuse is between parent and child; abuse is verbal, mental;…
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10 Disney Princes And Whether Or Not You Should Marry Them
We all know that no one is more of a model for your own future knight-in-shining-armor than a good, old-fashioned Disney Prince.
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Six Different Types Of 35-Year-Old Men
Look away from The Married Guy. He is either faithful, in which case you should concentrate your energy on trying not to hate his wife for her obscene good fortune,…
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Seven Different Types Of (Single) 35-Year-Old Women
The Party Girl still hits the old haunts, but now it’s mostly to reminisce with her bartender friends about old crazy antics instead of to create new mayhem. She used…
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What Moving On Is Like
Moving on is like this: one day you forget the taste. The next, you forget the smell. Then the touch. Then the laugh. Then the smile. Then the jokes. Then…
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Why You’re Beautiful
You’re beautiful because you take risks. You substituted “who cares” for “what if” and stopped talking into your beer about how you were going to do it and actually did…
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20 New Year’s Resolutions For 20-Somethings
If you really like the person you’re hooking up with and would really like them to be your boyfriend/ girlfriend, find a way to tell them, and hope for the…
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Overview Of Cheetos Puffs
We shall discover herein analytical aspects of our subject, punctuated by commentary of a more personal sort, starting right here with a description of the emotional status necessary to get…
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One Sentence Love Story
Sometimes when you think you love something what you really love is not the thing itself but just some small and inessential part of it: you think you love banana…
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I Like Your Flaws
I enjoy seeing you insecure, vulnerable. I like to watch red steam light up your cheeks, a spreading mist of shame when you think you’ve done something unacceptable like missing…
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Why It’s Okay To Go Completely Insane After A Break Up
People try to cheat the grieving process and press fast forward. They want to show their friends and family that they’re just great, that they’re in a good place and…
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Who Should Say “I Love You” First (And Why)
I think the “I love you” is wildly important, which is why the idea of it as a pawn in the battle of who holds the cards in the relationship…
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What To Do When Your Friend Owes You Money
Before we delve into your options, I feel like I should at least mention that you could always, you know, just say no to your friend who wants money. Just…
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A Speculative List Of Jay-Z’s 99 Problems
Recently realized certain aspects of what he thought was his identity were actually just uncontrollable delusions lacking any concrete behavior as evidence of their truth and significance.
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Stop Feeling Sad (For No Reason)
Stop feeling sad for no reason. Stop placing all of your happiness into whether or not your crush will text you back. Stop feeling a vague sense of melancholy, something…
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You Don’t Need To Say Anything
There are bridges I have burned out of necessity. Yours was simply abandoned, left untended for years until weeds grew through it and the railing fell apart and it became…
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The One Person You Never Really Get Over
You’re not over this person probably because they could never love you back the way you wanted them to, the way you needed them to. They were a defective toy…
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Five Absolute Truths Of Breaking Up
It may feel mutual, look mutual, and be hailed as mutual to everyone you tell, but the truth is that someone in the relationship wanted the break up more than…
