24. We dug out tons of literally rotten meat from this poor girl’s vaginal cavity.
“Not exactly sexual, but when we had gynecology and obstetrics in med school, we got this girl in from the psychiatric ward. The reason she got referred to gynecology was that she was smelly. Yep, really. So we didn’t quite understand the referral until we got in the room and met the patient. The patient is a skinny young girl, with the foulest necrosis-like odor I have ever smelled. It was literally so bad half of us had to leave the room. The paramedics also commented that they had to roll down all the windows when driving her there. According to the referral, the smell had been there for several weeks, and they had tried everything, including forcing her to shower, to make it end, and now they sent her here to rule out gynecological issues.
Well, what we found when we put her in the stirrups was that this girl had anorexia, and as a means of hiding her uneaten food from the hospital staff, guess where she had been putting her chewed-up pieces of food? Yup. She, of course, told us she had never put anything up there. Well, either there’s a disease that makes potatoes grow in your vagina, or she was lying.
We dug out tons of literally rotten meat from this poor girl’s vaginal cavity, some of it had to have been in there for a while, and put her on antibiotics for the terrible infection she of course had. Hospital food where I went to school isn’t great in general, and it didn’t help to let in ferment for a few weeks in an acidic environment full of bacteria. I will never forget that smell.
To make you understand how bad it was, let me just say that the vagina of any anorexic is not a happy place to begin with as they are very prone to nasty fungal infections. Here we started empiric treatment for both fungal and bacterial infection, seeing as we had trouble differentiating the more rotten food from her own necrotic vaginal tissue. So mix the smell of necrosis (you know how they say you never forget the smell of a rotting body? Yep, that.), rotting food, severely unclean crotch, and with a nice hint of infection to top it off. At this point in school we had sat through countless hours of smelly surgeries, autopsies, treating homeless people in the ER, and I’ve never seen any of my fellow students react physically to any smell. Half the people immediately had to leave the room, and some of us who stayed had to vomit.”
25. You’d be surprised how many grown men ‘fall’ onto shampoo bottles in the shower.
“I spent 5 years as a corpsman, which made me an ER alternative for some Marines. You’d be surprised how many grown men ‘fall’ onto shampoo bottles in the shower. You fell on it? Well how did it go in upside down?”
26. He came in with an eel in his ass that had perforated his large intestine.
“Guy came in with an eel in his ass that had perforated his large intestine. Claimed he ate it.”
