21. He got four feet of oxygen tubing up his ass before he couldn’t shove anymore.
“Guy came into the ER having bladder pains. Ended up having to X-ray and found peanuts inside. He and his sexual partner decided to shove peanuts up his penis with a pencil.”
22. He had a plastic Easter egg lodged deep in his bum.
“Elderly man and wife enter the ER. The male’s in obvious distress, but he initially refused to elaborate in triage. Once roomed, he will not speak with his wife present. When alone with staff, he finally tells us. He had a plastic Easter egg lodged deep his bum. Asked with what happened, he simply replies, ‘I wanted to know what it’s like to be a chicken.’”
23. He came in with a vacuum cleaner hose stuck on his penis.
“I worked as an orderly in the local ER as a university student and a man came in with a vacuum cleaner hose stuck on his penis.
He arrived wearing a sweater, shoes, and a blanket and insisted that he had been instructed to clean his house while nude because of his dust allergy.
While vacuuming, the man had become (his words), ‘inexplicably fatigued’ and took an impromptu nap with the Hoover still running. At this time, his penis must have flopped into the vacuum hose. His arousal was, he insisted, involuntary.
The hose was finally cut off with a surgical rotary saw.”
