Get up in the morning and take a steaming hot shower. Cleanse away your dead skin cells until you are tomato red. Scrub at your hair and wash off all the ways he used to touch you. Wash away his fingers and his hands and his lips. Rinse. Lather. And repeat.
Some day, when the wind picks up and the leaves turn from a mint green to a rusty orange, you’re going to think of them. And one day, out of the blue, you’re going to walk to a place they used to go to and you’re going to wish you were holding their hand.
Know that she is a go getter. Know that she is a strong woman. She is resilient. She isn’t with you for fun, or for a fling. She is with you for the real deal. She is with you because she sees something good in you. She is with you because she sees a future. Because you are someone special. And she deserves something special. She deserves someone special.
You’re very careful and cautious in every aspect of your life. You’re not a risk taker. You hate doing anything that could potentially put your life at risk or make your heart race uncontrollably. You don’t like doing anything out of your comfort zone and are content staying in your own bubble.
1. Many people call you a ‘workaholic’. Your friends and family tend to tell you to relax more and take a chill pill. You work constantly, even on your off hours.
You blame the world, your sister, your friends, your parents and strangers for your shortcomings and for your pain. You never take responsibility for your actions and mistakes and suffer as a result of it.
But I had to survive. I had to learn how to breathe the air that wasn’t full of your oxygen. I had to learn how to walk without your hand leading the way. I had to learn how to smile without your grin pulling me forward. I had to learn how to be. How to go. Without your love.
The truth is, he isn’t ever going to care. He isn’t ever going to come back. He isn’t going to wake up one day and come running towards you. And if he does? It’s only temporary. Because boys like that always want better and bigger and different. Boys like that only stick around until they get what they want. And then they vanish.
She loves being single because she gets to be selfish. In her life, with herself and in her career. She gets to do as she pleases, to live life to the fullest with someone pushing her down. She gets to be the selfish one this time. She gets to be the one to call the shots.
It hurt more to know that I had trusted him, when he was messing around with someone else behind my back. It hurt more to know that I thought we were on the same page, when we clearly weren’t. It hurt more to know that I cared more. I always cared more.