My World Would Be So Different If I Had Never Met You

girl by herself
God & Man

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of falling in love at such a young age. I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of finding someone who got me, who understood me, who became my best friend. My person.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have had the same experiences and lessons that I have now. I wouldn’t have the knowledge, the maturity that I have now, and I wouldn’t be the same person. Not at all.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have the experience of three and a half years of pure joy. Of days of laughter. Of months of feeling like my heart was held. Of those years of big, beautiful, and bountiful love.

If I had never met you, I would not know what love was.

I perhaps would have gotten snippets of it. I would have had the crushes, the hookups, the let downs, and the losses, but I don’t think I would have the real thing. And you were the real thing. So goddamn bright. So goddamn true. So brilliant.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t be me. Because you see, you made me find myself.

You made me find myself when you left me. You made me find myself when you said goodbye. When you took your final bow. When you blew me a kiss and wished me a final farewell.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today. Independent. Confident. Successful. Determined. Someone totally different from the girl you used to know. Someone different than I was at seventeen.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have gone through the gut-wrenching heartbreak that was our breakup. I wouldn’t have had to learn how to move on. On how to let go. If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have known the high that was love and the low that was being broken.

Thank you for the love. Thank you for the kisses that swept me off my feet. Thank you for the innocent love. For the hands you held in mine. Thank you for giving me your heart. And thank you for letting go of mine.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t be strong. I would be naive. I would still believe in the fairytale of it all. I would still be so hopelessly in love with the thought of love. But I never would have experienced it.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have a heart strong as armor. I wouldn’t have a heart as bold as neon lights. I wouldn’t have a heart that is full. Without you. So thank you for the love and for the leaving. Thank you for all of it.

Because truthfully, if I had never met you, I wouldn’t have grown into the person that I am today. And that’s a beautiful thing. I’m a beautiful thing.  TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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