11 Terrible (But Necessary) Things You Have To Do In Order To Become The Person You Were Meant To Be

girl on a mountain
Ian Froome

1. Break up with someone.

If your gut is telling you to break up with this person, do it. Do it even though it will hurt them. Do it even though you will watch them sob and beg for you back. Do it because it’s the right thing to do, not because it’s the nice thing to do. Sometimes, you have to be selfish.

2. Lose friends.

With growing up, comes growing apart from other people who you used to be close with. Call them up and tell them how you feel. Even though it will be really hard and even though you might blindside them, do it because you can’t afford to be around people who you don’t connect with.

3. Fight with a loved one.

Fight with your significant other or with a friend. Really scream at them and ball up your fists. Punch a wall or a door. Throw a chair. Throw their clothes out of the house and light them on fire. Go fucking crazy and let all of your repressed emotions out. And let them do the same.

4. Tell someone you don’t love them anymore.

It’s a terrible thing to say. But if it’s how you feel, you need to do it. In order to move on. In order for them to move on. Say, ‘I don’t love you anymore’. Only say if you mean it. Learn how to forgive yourself for this and know that you aren’t perfect.

5. Hate yourself.

Truly hate yourself. Eat too much junk food. Stop exercising. Treat yourself like shit. Then, learn how to survive the hatred. Learn how to hate yourself so much, that you hit rock bottom. Then learn how to climb that mountain and come out from the other side better and stronger.

6. Tell a secret you swore you wouldn’t.

I know, it’s an awful thing to do especially to a best friend or to a loved one. But this will show you that you aren’t perfect. This will show you that you will fuck up and make mistakes all the time. And so will everyone. This will show you how to be a better person eventually, and how to be a better human being.

7. Sleep with your ex.

Sleep with your ex and enjoy it. Enjoy toying with their emotions. Enjoy them enjoying you. Then realize that they still love. And realize that you don’t. Curse yourself for leading them on. Now learn to not do it again. Learn how to treat people like people, not just like they are only bodies.

8. Betray someone.

Betray someone you care about. Maybe you didn’t know all the facts. Maybe you didn’t realize you were doing it. Maybe you were naive or stupid or drunk. But what happens after this, is learning how to be kind to yourself even after this. You need to know that even though you did this terrible thing, you still have to love yourself through it all.

9. Break a heart.

Break someone’s heart and watch them hurt and crumble. Watch them hate you and tell them that they wished they had never met you. In this, you will learn that in life not everyone will like or love you. And you will not like or love everyone. Realize that in doing this, you are not the devil. You’re still human and they will be okay.

10. Get fired.

Fuck up at the job you hate. Show up late. Miss deadlines. Literally stop giving a fuck, because this job is causing you misery and angst. Get fired. And in this, you’ll learn to never accept that you’ll hate ever again.

11. Break your own heart.

Mess up over and again. Treat a significant other terrible. Fail. Fall. Fail again. Break your own damn heart. But never stop learning. Never stop learning from the failures and the mistakes and the heartbreaks. Learn how to love yourself despite it all. Despite everything. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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