The right person for you will love your every flaw. Even if it drives them crazy, wild and insane, they will still love those characteristics. They will still love you, despite it all. Despite the ugly days
And you could say it’s my fault. My fault for being naive. My fault for being dumb. My fault for being a silly little girl, a hopeless romantic, a dreamer. You could say it was my fault for hearing him tell me he didn’t want anything serious and ignoring it. You could say it’s my fault for thinking I could change his mind.
Anxiety makes me feel like I can never say ‘yes’ to plans. It overwhelms me with to do lists and unchecked boxes in my brain that tell me that I can never relax. It’s always making me sprint to the finish line, and run until my legs go numb.
We are the generation that views instant gratification as love. We are the generation that is constantly on the hunt for the next best thing, the next best chase, the next big heart to break.
I’m always living in the unknown. Always on edge just waiting for the floor to collapse under me. Always just waiting for the people I love to go away as soon as I feel stable. Always waiting for my happiness to disappear as soon as I learn how to smile again.
I’m constantly flooded with my anxiety screaming at me that it’s not worth it. And that I should give up on finding love. To just stop, because I’m broken.
How do we learn to trust and to learn and to love other people when the people that promised us forever went away?
We fret over the smallest of things. We overthink until we feel like our heads will explode. We think and think and think. It never turns off. It never disappears. It never slows or quiets down. It never stops, no matter how happy we are and no matter how in love we are with our lives or other people.
You ruin a perfectly good relationship by not giving anything back to your partner when they desperately need your compassion. By not lending them ears when they are having a hard time. By not lending them your shoulder to cry on when they are depressed or anxious or blue. You ruin a perfectly good relationship by not caring about what they need and want.
No amount of money is worth the loss of your sanity.