Falling in love makes you strong. It makes you smart. It makes you fearless. And I think, I want to be fearless too.
Show her that you are the type of person who will fight for what you believe in. And what you believe in, is her. Show her that this time, love is going to be different. That this time love will be braver and stronger and will withstand against the winds of change.
If I didn’t have anxiety, I’d have better self esteem. I wouldn’t question my ability to write. I wouldn’t question myself as a person. I wouldn’t question my self worth and ability to love. I would just be content with just me.
You keep her by knowing that you will never be able to take all of her pain away. And knowing that she will never fully be able to take away yours. But by knowing that at least having each other, is better than nothing at all.
That’s the thing about anxiety. You can’t wish it away or pray it away or drink it away. You can’t disconnect. You can’t just. Stop.
Having other people voice concern about your mental and emotional health makes your panic spin out of control. For them to see your struggle and see what you have to go through every day just to get through life is terrifying for you. You would rather save them from seeing you like that.
Our months of drawn out kisses and sweaty hands clasped together. Our hot three hour long bus rides to New York and another one to Philly. Our Julys in the rain. Our Augusts of heartbreak and tears that grew seeds into our hearts. Our eager hello’s and that gutting final goodbye. The summer months were always ours, even when we ended.
Only when she left you, did you give a damn. Only when she said goodbye, did you open up your heart again. Only when she slammed the door, was when you grew up and changed. Only when she gave up you, did you want her back
The whole time you were convinced that you would be their right person. And that you would be the person to make a difference. To change their perception of relationships and being committed to just one person. You were convinced that you were different from the rest. And that you could make them fall in love with you.
He will remember that he was the one who ended it. That he was the one who tore it all apart. That he was the one who cared less. Who loved less. Who thought that that he needed to spread his wings some more. And he will remember the look on your face when he said, ‘it’s over’.