The Truth Is, Closure Doesn’t Exist

girl in water
Noel Nichols

Closure doesn’t exist. It never has and it never will. Because closure means ending. Closure means peace. Closure means a closed door. But that never happens.

Because there will always be questions. There will always be ‘whys’. There will always be ‘what ifs’ and there will never be a true finale to your feelings.

It doesn’t matter why it ended or why you two broke up. It doesn’t matter if it was a ten year relationship or a two month fling. It doesn’t matter if you met at a bar or met at a wedding. It doesn’t matter how big or small the love was.

The truth is, closure? It’s a myth.

Closure is something that is too good to be true. It’s too much of a fairytale. It’s too much of a happily ever after. And honestly? It’s never going to happen. Because no matter what, love doesn’t just end. It doesn’t end after a conversation or an hour lunch break or a nightly goodbye. Love mattered and closure doesn’t make it not matter.

Love doesn’t end when you break up. It doesn’t stop your heart from feeling or caring or loving.

It doesn’t matter what excuse they give you. It doesn’t matter what they say on the phone, saying it’s not you, it’s me. It doesn’t matter how much they tell you how special you are and how lucky you will make someone else one day.

It doesn’t matter because it still hurts. It still stings. It still breaks you. Closure is just another word for breakup, for goodbye and for see you never.

Maybe it’s a pessimistic view of ‘closure’. Maybe I’m biased. Maybe I’ve been broken one too many times. Maybe I’m just tired of getting stung. Maybe I’m just exhausted of the dating world. Maybe closure really does help you feel better. Maybe it brings you a sense of relief. Maybe it really does exist for you.

But for me, closure is nothing but a curtain call that closes temporarily. It’s still messy. Hearts still hurt and ache and bleed. Wounds are still deep. Sometimes the damage will be too far gone and done. And sometimes it will be irreversible.

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean feelings go out the window. Ending things doesn’t mean that emotions die and wither. Closure just puts an imaginary smiley face on top of your heart. An imaginary coat of paint to mask the hurt.

But the hurt will always come back. The loss will always come back. The feelings will always be there, maybe hidden, or maybe in plain sight, but they will linger.

And the love? That will always stay. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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