Lance Pauker

1. A poorly timed “yeah,” or “uh-huh,” that gives away the fact you weren’t really listening to their story.

Their experience is something that we’ve all come in contact with at some point, and it’s that magical, universal resonance that really makes this timeless. Dazed and Confused captures an essence.

2. He gets really excited upon figuring out strange coincidences.

4. Sitting in front of an email draft for a good 47 minutes, wondering if the three lines you’re about to send to a prospective employer are too formal, or if they have too much personality.

Today is probably a bit annoying. Make it less annoying.

20. Be Wary When Discussing Relationship Troubles With Your Friends

13. You’ve always known how to procrastinate. But now you’ll start hanging with the older cousin of procrastination, called “stretching out work so it seems like it’ll take the entire day.” When executed properly, this can be rather inspirational.

2. You’ve had a sore throat for the last four years.

I’m not gonna lie–guys sometimes don’t tell the truth.

6. You Can Easily Tell That His Friends Are Kind Of Pissed At Him

1. We think people from other parts of the country–particularly those on the left coast–aren’t as “real” and “hardened” as we are.

The key to cracking this guy’s code is to pull Inception on him–in the sense that you need to convince him that it’s actually you who is making the first move.